Journal Entry 200897

I miss writing these thoughts in my notebook.

The thing when your in a relationship especially a long term one its hard to make friends because people have ulterior motives. I'm no prude but I'm just not into all that swapping and stuff doesn't intrest me at all. I think its dangerous I have seen many heterosexual relationships go under behind that BS. The only thing i see much diffrent in Hetro and homo relationships is the genders so if its not good for the goose....Besides Im just shy. I cant imagine telling someone I love them and sleeping with everybody. HMMM People say you have to hold your head but if you indulge in every passing fancy or whim it could open up doors. I tried it once when I was like 19 ( i think it was Paul who I had this huge crush on and my two friends Bootsie and Marcell when i lived in Fla I still get a upset stomich at the thought. Friends just dont need to see everything on each other! LOL and wasn't impressed at all it was just too many body and body parts for me. Does this make me a prude? There was a gay couple we use to play cards with. They both acted like wimps but they were ok and they actually threw it up in the air. hell, even if i was single I would jump over them to get to someone else! Somethings I just cant imagine!

Whoever heard of a gay prude lol that is funny.

Shawn thinks hes going to be a singer and he doesn't sound that good anymore to me. I listen to the one song he made on a cd back in 2005 and its slammin now his voice has a I dunno its aging he got out of school b4 us so hes gotta be almost 40 that should be his prime? Should i tell him this. Think about this this may be important to our friendship. He asked me to play a song on my keyboards I dont want to. Its all a drag to me.

What a day today was. I took the whole day off and rested. Last night Gabe had to close his Fathers bodega down because the electoral celebrations were hot and heavy in Brooklyn. Which was beautiful except the crack heads sneak in and try to steal stuff so that's not so good. Plus I had to get up and drive and pick him up. He didn't want to walk. I was happy to we went and got chicken nuggets the Mickey Ds on Fulton stays open 24 hours if u drive.

Charles finally got his CNA I'm so proud of him whenever we had to go away wed let him stay at our house. Hes from another country and lives with his Mom and I love him like a brother.

We have a neighbor that has all types of company all night and last night they caught someone trying to climb the fire escape to sneak in his house. Hes a single male, probably gay but defiantely a drug addict which is sad. Why are the supposedly mature ( i use that term verrryyyyy loosely still toying with that 80's shit?

I promised Gabe id stop with the notebooks but there is nothing like riding a bus and just writing thoughts as they come. I read a notebook from 6th grade it said

"antoine coleman is my best friend we are in Ms. Petrizellis class together. I don't wanna be mark Hardy's friend anymore he smells like friend chicken.

Imagine! ive been keeping a journal all these years. I wonder am I addicted. Well i got my writing fix i can clock out and work on dinner.... I wonder what ever happen to Antoine anyway? When I go out to Long island I'm going by his mothers house and ask.