Random early morning thoughts,

I think I have discovered who my female closest is. i like that term closest because it describes those that are the closest to you. the only people in your life with enough power to hurt you because you are so endeared to them. Because you love them almost unconditonally.

Gabriel is my male closest. I cant think of any other dudes that I even want to be close too. I use to be like that with Sadiq back in the day. I still love him as far as love can go too. But in a natural brotherly way. I was thinking....Sadiq is the one dude that I could never ever get close too. Even tho we were there I cvalued his friendship wayy to much. Gomez and them still talk about that. I sometimes wonder if I was missing out...Probbly not. Sometimes, naw, most of the time friendship outlast sex. least in my world it does.

Probbly cause i dont really feel dudes that way that I trust enough of them. Trish has got to be my female closest. I call her my "thug a boo." remember that dvd that the Wynan brother put out in 2006 called "thug a boo" with d roc and all those crazy hood kids. I still got my copy so i brought it up to her house so we could eat icecream and 3 muskateers and watch movies. cuz thats what we do

Shes like the one girl if i was gonna have an affair and i was with a girl I would have it with her. That takes a damn nerve and makes no sense but thats the truth. I love her too much to want to marry her because that would be BS of the highest order. i dont knock brothers that are on the DL and marry I just cant love someone and deceive them.

I was looking at a picture of my ex wife and I realized the only thing I really misss was she could cook and I never had to cook nothing and she was fun to be with. But she was gay and sometimes didnt know how to talk to people even me. i say, when i sit and think of a way to fuck u up. Its time for us to split. But, I wonder if it had worked out what would my life be like now?

anyway, i popped in her crib at 1 am cuz Gabe went to work and its always like we havent seen each other for years even tho we were on the phone twice yesterday. She always makes me laugh she says...OK are we gonna do it here now on the bed or wait. And we laff cuz we went together in 7th grade for like 3 weeks and i quit her cause her hair was short or some crazy kidd reason and she threatened to have her brothers kick my azz. But she is my closest. Everybody should have a closest of each sex cause then all dimensions of your being are covered.

Since its snowing I havent even driven today. I hate driving anyway so I walked down to Kingston Ave to hang with my Thug A Boo and get my eat on. Supreme stopped by and u know that brother has really changed since he got knowledge of self. hes a godbody now ( five percent nation) and its all good. Divine,Sadiq, supreme and me use to run hard back in 2000 and then we all went to doing our own thing. I went to work, Divine got into "the life" way too deep. Messin with K. Mugler and that crew. he just ended up a total loser. I think hes on the island or upstate. Those Mugler kids are those ball kids the house of Mugler but the one he fell in love with is this booster. The punk can boost his ass off but he stays in jail and thats f up. When divine first told me i was like aight cause i knew the kid. I still have his digits and at one point I use to run with his partner Hubba until they pulled that grimy shit on me. Me and Tish was talking about that tonight. I still have a lot of stuff Hubba gave me. That negro could steal. B4 I know his skeeze we were at the plaza having a drink and he asked the lady to take our picture. The lady got up and while she was taking our picture that negro took 900 dollars out her bag and a credit card. I was like damn...But he is a loser for real cuz he is only out of prison maybe 43 days out of every 3 years! I saw him like a few months ago I turned my head cuz this is one that is not going to sit in anybodys jail.

I wonder how people can live with that revolving door syndrome in and out of jail. Bad thing is Hubba came from a good family when we was like 14 we use to steal his moms or my dads car and drive to the city and just hang out we would be back b4 5am cuz my dad woke up every morning at 5am and was out the house by 6. His mother is so nice too. Its sad. I never knew he was going to grow up and not wanna hold a job or get an education. Thats sad cuz with those skills he could have channeled his creativity into a great career doing something. I guess a career criminal is a career..who knows/

My dog is a trooper only dog on the block that just hangs lol. hes all up at trishs door trying to get in cuz he knows she makes him sauseges.

nothing really going on this morning. Gabe gets off from work 9am so i have company tho sleeping all day and imma chill.

i thank God that im conscience of who I am and where i fit in in this world. Finding yourself can be hard and being comfortable in your own skin can be harder. But, im glad im me. I do some fucked up shit sometimes but i can honestly say their is no solid reason for anyone to hate me.....less they are just haters lol