Journal2008120

They say if you keep living eventually you will get smarter. I believe this is true. For some anyway

My number one question? Why is everyone breaking up?

1. K&D broke up. I got a call. K is in Boston with his family. I should have known something was awry wen he said He was at the bar. Because I threw them a big party a few months ago celebrating their sobriety. Worst party of the year. No liquor at all because they were celebrating I forget how many years of sobriety. ( now thats even suspect)

Damn, I should have picked up on it then! I was so wrapped up in my birthday. The girl was blowdrying my hair straight I hate that damn shit. Imma get a hair cut hair is too much work. we were drinking Vodka that it must have dulled my damn senses.

Anyway, I was careful not too say to much. If I learned anything at all. When it comes to couples, gay ones anyway, when you put your 2 cents worth in and they get back together your viewed as the problem. Fuckin tired ass fags go figure. Im still wondering should I have a teaspoon of empathy or not.

Plus, they had a physical altercation because Papi chulo has a black eye. Or so I am told. I will see when I go into the city this week. Oh well. I liked hanging out with them as a couple but i did notice one seemed to do all the talking and interupt the other one. Gabe didnt care for either one. he never cares for too much of anything that requires walking and talking. But you can just never tell who is passive these days. Those submissives ones will fuck you up every time.

One of them is ok looking the other is ok too if you go for the Big pun type. he looks just like Big Pun but shorter. Hmm

2. We got home at 5:30 AM the other day, My birthday . My friend calls from Fla. he found out that his lover is having an affir. Mind you he didnt even say Happy Birthday. This one always is wrapped up in his self. Well I guess i am too if i wanted a hapy birthday LOL

WTF!! I was trying to marinate in my drunkedness. Couldnt even be drunk in peace .Damn i was toasted. Sometimes sex is good drunk after a couple years with the same person variety really does become the spice of life. Plus you say shit that in your right head you wouldnt feel right even saying! Im all for drunken sex 2x a year!

Anyway. he was checking his cell phone and the guys number and message or something like that came up. I told him. If it was me. i would simply call the number and be very respectful and ask are you and my friend involved cause if you are I need to just move on. Thats true, i just cant argue about shit like that. if someone is going to cheat their going to do so anyway so why get all upset. I told him ,but ask his lover are you cheating b4 you make the call. Give him a chance to come clean. Then you can decide what you want to do. he says he wants to take a HIV test. I wonder if he has it anyway and is just putting on all this drama to be able to out himself. If I have found out one thing. All the gays i know tend to be so damn dramatic. never just a call and a tell all. A whole broadway production you have to go thru! Oh well. Ill know in a few weeks if he calls and says Oh, Im positive da da da da da. I personally dont care one way or the other as im not sleeping with any of them but I just have a feeling this is some BS.

Thats what twitty did. Thats my arch enemey. I hate that fat faggot. Him and Gomez were tight and I know they use to talk shit. cause Gomez would tell me. he liked this other guy named G. Who now is a A Number one Crack head. We were going around years ago after high school i think and that damn Twitty. Oh, I get mad at his name. he went to prison too. Where he faithfully resides now. I should do a mean boy and find out where he is and write a letter saying Ha ha ha. Thats os childish but its a funny thought. He was a paralegal to at a good firm. I think that G turned him out to that life style in anyevent I wonder why i remembered him?

Back to my friend in Fla. He goes online to some site called adam and adam or something like that and is always meeting people then will call all the way to NY to tell me. Oh I met so and so from online. I always say imma peek at that site never do. It wouldnt come up on my sidekick and Im not doin that shit from my home computer. I think he met the guy hes with now from that site they been together about 3 years now. Im sure of it. Yup.

"How did they look"

"Oh they were ok but to young 4 me"

Every few weeks we have that same chat so I figure how can he be mad and hes doing the same thing his self....Drama!

I was laying in bed the other day. One of the few days we were both home and I asked gabe. "Did you ever cheat on me when we lived in East Flatbush?"

he said, "NO"

I said "OK" I mean I didnt either mainly because i couldnt get a guy I was going thru an ugly period or something. I had got this haircut back then that made me resemble a damn squirrel.

I get these periods in my life when i cant pick up a homeless bum. I swear. I broke up with gabe once in 2003 I had a dry spell. i swear it was the haircut! I had a short haircut All I could pick up was those damn dragqueens and ultra feminine men. It was a drag. U know when your on the outs with your lover you at least want something better so they feel horrible.

I dont believe in rules in a relationship at all. I just go by the do unto others rule. Too many rules make it a damn drag. I just expect what i put out. if I respect you respect me. Simple. That seems to work best in my life.

i always say If I plan to cheat id just break up with him. Im so not good at juggling romances. A player....Im Not. I use to wish I was when i was a teen but i go to getting all sensitive and shit...Oh well. besides I always figured if I have to get a veneral disease i want to know exactly where it came from. Word!

Patrica Nut, Diniro,Robbie nd Gabriel threw me a birthday party. I got some nice gifts. Im always thankful for gifts. Theres nothing I really want tho. That must be a sign that my ass is getting old. I had so much fun. We had Karoke. but everyone was so drunk they couldnt sing Pat sounded the worst. Shes my best friend tho. I really like her. Even though I get mad at her she has a good heart. Plus we always have each others back.

Tonight we are all suppose to go to a club in Manhatan but I am not going to go. I cant drink anymore. I have this paranoia about geting liver damage. cause most of my relatives dies of drink and stuff. Well Aunt Alice and Aunt Dodie did anywway. And my paternal grandfather was a alcoholic. So I may have the gene. Im careful about that.

So i wil be sick about 3pm im sure. But I will tell Gabe the truth. We were going to check out DJ Markus Wright whose doing a set at a club in lower manhattan. But Im not in the frame of mind to watch people on X and Jump and all that BS and here that damn tribal dance music. I pray that gabe doesnt have his heart set on it. Theres no cover thats all the incemntive he needs free. I want to watch desperate housewives and brothers and sisters tonight and just chill. This may take some ingenuity on my part?

This African guy invited me to a club a Drum and bass club on St. Marks place downtown manhattan. Pleeeze. But I asked him to give me a thing with his music on it. You know like a usb jump drive then i can just upload it next show and I would put it on the True Urban Havoc Show the podcast. he was a nice cat too. His accent was heavy tho. i wish i was better with accent. When i was down south I swear i said "HUH?' all the time.

Gabe better step up to the plate with that podcast because Im the one doing it and im no damn DJ . Im not even crazy about house music like that. I like jazz truthfully. I listened to a celtic show on PBS the other day. i enjoyed it. It was called celtic Women. Didnt see a single black face in the audience.

That Podcast tho. but the people contact me and I get all the music. I wonder could I make a paying career out of this? Ed Sulivan did. That old fart had no talent but could smell a good act. i read this is in a book.

Imagine if i could become famous for something? That would be cool. Im so shy tho id get drug with all that.Real fast. I love my peace and quiet too much.

Oh well, the Evangelist called me. I like her. She use to do the sunday shows 'words of Inspiration" she was complaining that the church relagated her to the vistation comittie because there seems to be a problem with the finances. The pastor holds the checkbook. I told her I didnt think that was funny at all. Because people depend on pastors and thats stealing. But i didnt want to go into it. I get mad at bullying real easy. To me thats bullying plus its none of my business and im tired of getting high blood pressure off of other peples business.

Gabe likes his new job hope he keeps it. His father is pissed he isnt at the store. Said the bodega would be his one day. hell that old man will live to be 300 out of spite. LOl. I told him I would help sometimes if he really needs me. i just like to get the free milk and eggs and run my mouth at the counter anyway. He says I eat my pay up. LOL. Im glad gabe is doing his own thing. At least i dont have to wait up till 4am anymore he has regular hours. But, I have been this road B4 im pretty sure he will go back. i told him to take an accounting or book keeping class that way the family is handling all aspects of this business. he thought that was smart and so did Papi.

This has been a good week