My Dilemna and other jacked up things in my life

I wonder if you are in a relationship with someone who is older than you. How do you find mutual entertainment. We havent been doing to well their.

so Im working third shift I get off at like 5:30 am a half hour. I call home and i ask this question. he says he just has outgrown the shit we do!!! All we do is drive around and listen to music most of the times its rap so maybe thats it. H hates rap. Right now I am into birdman and santana. But I listen to old music alot to at home anyway.

Im not insulted but hell his friends dont do anything exciting except listen to music, drink beer (and not even the good stuff) oh and play pool. Im sick of house music after awahile it sounds sooo gay. Like some ball is about to be put on. But we all have our preferances no need complaining . But i hate playing pity pat i lose all the damn time.

Sometimes though I can be really calm but I think sometimes im a lil ADD. I like to just have fun. i dont want to always do stuff around the house or go to Fridays or worry about money. That may be immaturity. But hell, I did finish school and all that. That should count for something in this world. All i get is I should go back to school. Get a masterrs. Shit it took me 5 damn years toi get a 4 year degree.

I just dont know. Im going to try and make more gay friends. I think its a thing of the people I hang with. I dont get along with alot of gay people. You can only stand to hear about dick and azz so many times till u think a person is retarded or thirsty as hell. Then my other frineds are just so damn wanna be intellectual. You know the gays that are always in college or attending this workshop or that. but never graduate. Never! hell type bachlors degree are they going for??? The conversations are just so stuck up I wanna puke. it wouldnt be so bad if I didnt know them when there damn drawers were showing. Now? Lord have mercy you would of thought they were all born with silver spoons. They drag me sometimes

One overweight one I know says, Well they just arent like us.! m like shit this bitches mother was a crack head and use to sell ass oin queens plazza hell is he talking about damn us/ Actually, im the only one that wwas raised fin long island the bulk of my friends are from damn brooklyn. I just thought about that shit

i cant hang with em. fuck that I need a better solution. hell I cant talk took me 5 damn years to get a 4 year degree and still dont know what the hell I learned! but hell...

Straight dudes are just as bad they always talk about pussy.

I think we as a nation are preoccupied with sex..

im trying to remember did i ever talk alot about sex or did I just do it? i think I was preoccupied with sedx as a 20 year old. i was perverted in a way. But u grow out of it

Some of my friends are a little rough around the edges sort of ghetto and the gay ones I can only take small doses of. My best gay friends are about 4. The rest are undercover bi sexuals and straight men and women. Others are just unidentified walking objects. i dont think even they can define themselves.

lately i have been uncomfortable around some of my straight friends like I just arent feeling them anymore like that. To wanna hang alot when they come around I know its more of the same BS. Maybe I am at a crossroads?

Do u know most gays cheat on their people? The ones I know are always cheating I mean with complete strangers. that damn K is a perfect examble. he came to hang and was standing on the corner with me. This light skinn guy, i cant remember his name but he kjknew me cuz he called me lil panna which means he knows me. So he was talking to me and i was like fuck this fool but he had a big bottle of something or nother so i was just tripping like yo give me the bottle so me and my friend can get our drink on...just slick talk playing. The dude gave me a five dollar bill to go buy some winecoolers if I wanted so that was cool. i go across the street and come back with three coolers and hadnt this punk took the guy into his apartment! About a half hour later this bitch comes flying down talking about the dude stole his wedding band that was in the bathroom! Then had the nerve to say the dude liked me. Now k has been with his lover for like 5 years. So that was jacked up. But I laughed. he had to lie to his signifigent other about his band too so that was jacked up. Plus with his looks he will be hard pressed to find someone else lOL I hasd to add that. Actually i dont see what these guys see in him but he definately has something! I cant hate on him 2 much. That dude can pull some fyne katts

I wonder is this a bad sign. Ive known G all my life. I think hes pissed that i been hanging on Albany alot in my free time. Maybe he feels threatned. Maybe hes just going thru a faze.

ill have to learn to play pool or something I guess. Im just bored cause its winter nothing to do. No basketball to play. Just home and work and it gets dark so quick.

I hope spring come soon! damn my battery is dying