Saturday, February 28, 2009


Today Pa left for Canada. I actually worked all day at the Salon helping out and just talking. Nothing but old ladies be there anyway .

I came straight home and watched cable I didn't know we had so many damn channels like i think it went to 182 channels of nothing.

But I saw this movie on lifetime called America" It was starring Rosie Od oneel and it dealt with the foster care system. Bonnie told me about it cause life time is usually too much damn drama for me.. It dealt with sexual abuse and it really toucjhed me.

No matter what were going thru on any given day their are people going thru a hell way worse than our own.

I visited Uncle Steve's page and he has this recording of Esther Smith singing showers of blessings. I'm noooo religious fanatic but the song brought me back to my child hood. I use to love some hymns like "In the garden" Near The cross" and Holy Holy Holy my mother use to sing a song called "their is a fountain" so his site tore me up for a minute but then I felt a renewed energy. I am glad that some people put those old songs on the internet cause we sometimes forget our roots. We get so caught up in the hustling, the money and all that that we forget when we were innocent and the world was a big place that needed exploring...ahhh jaded can make you miss out on soooo much

With gabe gone the house is quiet as hell. I'm a clean cause my friends daughter is coming over tomorrow and i want the place to look like I live civilivled eben tho that's a damn lie. My house reeks of the term "lived In" but I'm damn proud of the home Gabe and I have made for ourselves. It wasn't easy...

I'm glad that he has the gig in quebec and Ontario the money is good and their are so many bills that it was getting to be hard. They say many couples fight over money I don't want to do that. I will never fight over money. I have been minding my spending. I only brought food this week and I didn't buy any cigarettes the ten dollars is still on the dining room table. I did take a vicodin to allow my asss down I haven't left the house all night!

Ah well imma get off the computer. I'm on cable instead of DSL I see the difference. ts worth it to me. as while hes gone ill be online mostly I don't wanna get caught up on the whereabouts of these folks


Today Pa left for Canada. I actually worked all day at the Salon helping out and just talking. Nothing but old ladies be there anyway .

I came straight home and watched cable I didn't know we had so many damn channels like i think it went to 182 channels of nothing.

But I saw this movie on lifetime called America" It was starring Rosie Od oneel and it dealt with the foster care system. Bonnie told me about it cause life time is usually too much damn drama for me.. It dealt with sexual abuse and it really toucjhed me.

No matter what were going thru on any given day their are people going thru a hell way worse than our own.

I visited Uncle Steve's page and he has this recording of Esther Smith singing showers of blessings. I'm noooo religious fanatic but the song brought me back to my child hood. I use to love some hymns like "In the garden" Near The cross" and Holy Holy Holy my mother use to sing a song called "their is a fountain" so his site tore me up for a minute but then I felt a renewed energy. I am glad that some people put those old songs on the internet cause we sometimes forget our roots. We get so caught up in the hustling, the money and all that that we forget when we were innocent and the world was a big place that needed exploring...ahhh jaded can make you miss out on soooo much

With gabe gone the house is quiet as hell. I'm a clean cause my friends daughter is coming over tomorrow and i want the place to look like I live civilivled eben tho that's a damn lie. My house reeks of the term "lived In" but I'm damn proud of the home Gabe and I have made for ourselves. It wasn't easy...

I'm glad that he has the gig in quebec and Ontario the money is good and their are so many bills that it was getting to be hard. They say many couples fight over money I don't want to do that. I will never fight over money. I have been minding my spending. I only brought food this week and I didn't buy any cigarettes the ten dollars is still on the dining room table. I did take a vicodin to allow my asss down I haven't left the house all night!

Ah well imma get off the computer. I'm on cable instead of DSL I see the difference. ts worth it to me. as while hes gone ill be online mostly I don't wanna get caught up on the whereabouts of these folks

Strange invites from Multiply Pedophiles that shit is wack !

Ive been getting some strange invites. I visted the pages and it just isnt right. The pictures look a bit young and it creeps me. I have had to decline a few invites not because they were white people but because they werent right people.

Hell if a black sends one his azz will be declined too. Who the FUCK wants to look at little kids and shit. Id whip their fuckin asses if I knew thenm mcause that shit aint cool no type of way and to send it to me is a fuckin insult. Damn faggot ass pedophiles

It takes nerve to send invitions for that bullshit. I can tolerate the grown folks cause we all get a bit horny and curios but when they look young like that I get a panic attack cuz thats just sick.

I pray I dont get anymoree that makes going on line a damn drag.

When I see a strange name now I just check the sight out good make sure aint no hidden crap in there and if I find it ill just get em off my site. Thats just wrong man yall need some serious help or a ass kickin one.

blogs and random thinking on a saturday

Today this morning I visted the page I wrote about my Nana and I feel so tired now. Oh well.

Gabe goes to Quebec city today at 2:30 ill miss him the house will be so quiet oh well

I think I feel aloneish. if thats even a word. I dont wanna hang with Pat cause she drinks to fuckin much. I havent hung with her most of the week and body thanks me. I should stop being her friend shes getting to be a drag. So unhappy all the time always wants to stay home. Shes older than gabe but 47 isnt that damn old damn. Thats not eben middle age she has issues I need a new best if that would be easy...oh well

I have been riding my bicycle and im trying to quit smoking. I like the bicycle tho the police gave me a summons for riding on the sidewalk hell they drive crazy in brooklyn oh well he said tell the judge their is no bike lane and i wont have to spend any money

I like those damn parliments tho. If I smoke newports i would probbly quit faster. funny I never smoke in the house just outside...but I only smoke like 3 a day its amental habit maybe? I smoked a half ciggrette tody cigreets are 8.50 in New york sometimes nine dollars thats a lot of money over a period of damn time

Imma stay to myself this weekend except to help t take pictures for her ebay shop or whatever. Seclusion seems comforting but the damn phone is always ringing im sick of it too

Its goiung to be a very long three months, I hope to go to canada a few weekends but with our bills ichat may be the only visitation.

Javonnie got locked outta his house. He told me why they broke up and about the dog and asked for a plate of food. I give him chicken and rice it was really patricks i told him that tho he didnt care. I had to tell him to go home cuz I was sleepy plus I dont want to be his friend really. He has more problems then me shit and ill end up trying to help him and get screwed as usual.

Gabe says to follow my mind but never turn away a hungry person. Hell he should have food if they are doing all that stuff up there and im a stranger cept to their dog and his ex. The same old story but its news to me

Pats boyfriend gave me a cake he calls me his brother. Hes ok i guess. Why do I always feel its gonna cost me something is the wotld that jacked up...?

Gomez hasnt called me back. Thats my oldest friend and i havent made the effort to drive to east NY I miss our friendship its my fault too. I have to do better. he is in therpy for his accident I will buy a card today and mail it and also send some flowers. That would be nice. He must think I abandoned him. ....

baby just called. Its 8:00 i was like im sleeping...shes a mess too

i am hiungry i am going to get something to eat and start the day

Friday, February 27, 2009

Would u accept your friend even if they decided they were transgender

The funniest thing happened with a few of my friends. We have a friend who came up with us that is now a transgener. Hshe looks like a woman too. Imma ask if I can post her pic on my blog she sent me.

Now, I told one of our crew about Lea (who was born LeTroy) and he turned up his nose like it was the worst thing. I didnt understand that becuse why should you care what a person wheres as long as they are your friend.

So this friend is from Kingston Jamacia and hes my friend too I mean I love him like a brother but he said " most gay men dont like trannies" so I just wonder why?

No one has given me one solid reason But ive noticed and i dont know how to phrase this...Most of the haters are some plain looking dudes if not just not very attractive. I mean the ones that say they cant stand them. Use fag terms and the hole nine. or they ythink that the world doesnt knpow they are gay.

Now some just are very masculine but if you get to talking to them they talk in private like they are womens. So i deduced that they are haters and wish they could be feminine like that.

Now one friend says " Boys dont see that" but I live next door to a transvestite or transgengender and the guys always talk to them and no one fucks with them and they have guys come and go and I dont see no one hatin.

So I asked this friend well associate that is a str8 dude to the best of my knowledge ( i say this cuz i cant monitor his body parts 24-7) but to the best of my knowledge hes straight. He says " hed rather associate with a gay person whose proud of who he is and does what he wants to do then a MF thats trying to act hard and blend in and then they hit you with that shit while your treed up".

That makes sense to me. Me I never wanted to be a girl or nothing but I know when I use to have really long hair id look realy girlish till peeps got up on me. I didnt like that much but I always shrugged it off. I grew a lil mustache LOL. sort of a chulo period

But I just wondered why so many black cause its not a big latino thing at all. Even the gangs in our community except for the latin kings have no problems with gays or transgenders mater of fact if your la familia ( hola mi hombres) or Neti they allow them to marry and the trannies are considered Reina ( queens)

So im just wondering anyone care to enlighten

Does anyone remember this song?...HELP :)

Im trying to find the title and artist of this song. It came out maybe in the 80s it was some young guys id say maybe mid 80s.I think the title was Lollipop love. The phrases I remember are " You are my lollipop love make my world go round and round. Lollipop love my horses and kingsmen down" then the verse was like " the first time that I saw you something happened deep inside..." Thats all I remember. Even Gabe is at a lost he says it had to be a teeny bopper song and he was already in high school back then so...I ...lost...Hope someone knows..I really would like to hear that song again...Thansk all!

Thursday, February 26, 2009


This is from Shirley and Alan of Flint, Michigan THE EMAIL PENPAL CLUB:
This is for those mother's of boys, sisters of boys, grandmother's of boys and boys that have grown older. And anyone else who needs a laugh.

Why boys need parents...

THE DOGGIE IS GONE the story of gabe, the neighbors and me and patrick...ummm and whoever else1

Well heres a doozy for you !!!

I had a pitbull for all of one day. What happened is there is a couple upstairs they are both the same gener get what I mean and I dont really know if their nice or not but we do speak occasionally.

One of the guys comes and says to me a few days ago would you mind watching my nooo im lying he said " Im looking for someone to watch my dog for a few days" I said ( as we were in the Bodega) Oooh id be glad to! Ill watch him ( my dumb big mouth ass0 I quickly forgot all about it then yeasterday someone is knocking at my door and they ask to use the telephone after much cussing and fussing and pleading the other mate leaves.

Gabe comes in a hour later with this cute but fierce looking pit bull. Looking totally lost saying " well they told me you said you wanted a pit bull" My first response of course was...Did u give those mother fuckers any money. After he assured me he hadnt...That started the longest day of my life.

She is so sweet and took to me as all dogs and damn children do.


Because these people run a crack and sex party house on the 4th floor yes!!! a man stands on the corner and you see all types of mens black white latino transgender etc coming and going and the police arrived to escort a few out the hallways. We have cameras in our building and we pay a damn high rent for this!

the building is upset and my neighbors eyed me suspiciously one ole lady said " well thank god u have that poor animal"

I fled cause I could only imagine what was coming!

Now I have nothing against these parties because a few years ago when I was living alone I hosted a few but the shit disturbed me too much. I saw this man take meth and have sex with all these guys and it wasnt pretty like a movie. They werent even using no condoms blood everywhere and that ended my career as the host ess with the mostest. At that time I had a huge apartment with absolutely no furniture so i figured I could make a buck.

I have to admit. I stayed in the kitchen selling liquor and beer most of the time. The money was great too. I made something like close to 3 g's that weekend but when I saw that I just thought it was wrong. But im the type that will try anything once. I tried it..big deal. Not 4 me

The parties by the way was due to the fact I was too damn lazy to find a second job and I was looking for a quick buck and since liqour houses arent popular in the north I combined it with a good time house and it all equaled a good mf mess! I advertised oit on the chat line that you call up and i got so maany hits. Thats how I met my friend charlee. We became good friends cause we are alike in alot of ways thats all that came good outta it.

oh back to the dog!

So the dog was here and she loved me but she had to weigh as much as me cause the bitch (LOL I love that term she is a female dog after all! )was pulling and Sir Patrick didnt like her one bit! I believe the feeling was mutual!

So the other lover in this case was seen moving out and said I will bring money to you for food! Did not my foster sister say that when she left her son at my house in 1995 and came back to pick him up 2003...Indeedy!

Drug users share one trait....they lie

So I didnt want the poor thing cuz we can barely feed ourselves their are three of us and im part time one step from no time at the mortage company I work as a recorder at. ( not that i realy care my little home business has been balancing us out nicely and we drew up a better budget a few weeks ago.

There aint alot of recording of deeds going on these days LOL. I might go back to social work. I had a few others but I was so burnt on that crap. I use to work with the Criminal Justice Initive. It was a good job till I got burnt out.

I miss her...Bye ladybird I named her ladybird the lady was for billie holiday the lady bird was for the dog on King Of The hill one of my fave shows...I will remember this day!

Oh and this is the trip it is 3:30 and the other one krings my bell ( doesnt that take craw as my mama use to say and says to me " well thank you I come to get my dog...damn ghetto faggots are a gotdamn mess. I said here you go...inside i said skinny black bitch take your fuckin dog) lol that was inside tho lol

patrick is happy the bitch is gone..ole big head dog

Wednesday, February 25, 2009


In 2009 the government will start
deporting all the mentally ill people.

I started crying when I thought of you.

Run my little crazy friend, run!

Well, what can I say ??
Someone sent it to me,
I'm NOT going alone !!

Life Book

Oh man Im working on my life book on my sidekick and my last blog was suppose to go in there and I never remembered to turn on my laptop when I got home and make it private. Darn Im like totally embarassed but thats life. But thanks any way for the comments and stuff. But damn

How do we begin to forgive?

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GDC ID: 0000257648




CASE NO: 177020
CASE NO: 177020
CASE NO: 177020
CASE NO: 177020
CASE NO: 177020
CASE NO: 177020
CASE NO: 177020


04/30/2002 ACTIVE
03/20/1992 06/25/1996
03/01/1985 11/30/1990

Tuesday, February 24, 2009


Tonight i spent trying to distance myself from a God Body friend. He stopped by my crib and I went to the store and left him in the hall. When I returned the dicks were behind me and asked did I live in the building. I turned the key and they said "Oh he obviously does" I politely asked them was their a problem. They said they had received a call that someone was in the hall. However, thiese were the narcotics officers not the blue and whites.

As I got up the stairs here comes divine looking stupid as hell. He even ( to me) looked kind of high. They asked for his ID he produced a freakin EBT benefit card those things you get food stamps off of. They took himn downstairs I guess to check for warrants meanwhile he toild them he was my uncle! MF

To complicate all this Gabe pops up and walks in the house mad as hell. Wanting to beat the kid down and im trying to explain as nice as I could because when hes mad hes mad and we talked. He walked out about two hours ago and I could tell he was mad. But its been a crazy night.

Its 3:15 AM. Divine is like Gabes age maybe older. But its not a really tight friendship we are just kewl cause he knew my natural father.

I really didnt appreciate the police asking me my name and all I felt that when they do that in our hood they think your a dealer and then you get harassed all the time. Plus my building has become so hott. I thinhk some one in here is a crack dealer because people have really been coming and going alot. Mostly crack heads.

So at least I got Gabe calmed down he is very emotionless except when it comes to our life and our home. Maybe in my own way I jepordized that safety zone. I understand that and i want to make ammends. By keeping alot of my wild side away.

YThat to me is important because I hate to see him unhappy or ready to fight. Even tho with my sick ass it is a turn on cuz he gets pumped and sun really can fight too. I love a good fight but not when its Gabe.

oh well. Im waiting for him to come back I told him to bring me a winecooler and 4 chicken wings from the chinese spot. ( darn that sounds soooo ghetto lol) South park is on now

Monday, February 23, 2009

When You Love someone.....Shes soo Underated,,,daphne Rubin- vega

I first heard ( the love of my ears) Daphne on a X Mix compilation that they issued to DJs back in the mid 1990's and I fell in love. Shes so underrated its unbelievable. Shes just Ohh I love her shes house but punk sort of its hows she listed I have yet to hear any punk from her...HMMPH

The song I fell in love with was called "when You Love someone" for years I asked Gabe about it and I would sing it and i even found the rights cords on the piano and can play my own horrible version.( its horrible too i lie not)

Do U know no one would help me find it. Gabe claimed the record was gone and the Mercury label demised and Id not get it.Hes hateful when it comes to music :) just mean. Says my taste in music is like Tofu! Threatehened me with castration if I peeked in his crates! So, because im respectfully of others property i didnt look!

I tried asking him when he was half asleep that doesnt seem to work. Even ewhile taking a crap id ask him and get cursed out so bad I started to call a domestic verbal abuse counselor! Ok im just jokin

But, I looked all over the internet and found a Daphe rubin vega and then added that to my google search "when You Love Someone" and found her bio and to think i saw her in rent and didnt know it!!!!! I even remember it was the last track on the compilation. The song makes me happy. I smile and I even heard the jazzy remix which plays over and over in my house. Cuz its MY HBOUSE ILL PLAY IT OVER AND OVER till im tired.

Then I found the tracks on Rhapsody and of course id pay a whole paychecjk for her but it was only 99 cents. Everyone in my circumfrence sighs a sigh of relief....

Its fun to search for stuff you love

Real Name: Daphne Rubin-Vega
Profile: Daphne Rubin-Vega is a two-time Tony nominee who is best known for originating the role of Mimi on and off-Broadway in Johnathan Larson's rock musical "RENT". However, Daphne has been on the scene starting from her days in freestyle latin girl group Pajama Party.

After "RENT", Daphne released a string of hit dance singles including "When You Love Someone" and "I Found It". She recorded her first album "Souvenirs" which is only available on her official website due to the demise of the Mercury record label.

Daphne has appeared on and off-broadway numerous times over the years and later this year will star as Fantine in the new revival of "Les Miserables". In October 2006, she and her rock band DRV released "Redemption Songs", a collection of mostly-self written songs.
In Groups: Pajama Party

Koop "Koops Island"

I finally found the cd from Koop at a store at Fulton mall. It is cold and I am on my SK so I must type this b4 myfingers freeze as I lost yet another pair of gloves. How do I lose both and most loise but one....must think about this

I bought today: Francis B


todd edwards

me shell ndegeocello ( it was five bucks old as hell i guess)

Koop i got the cd Koops island...I love it!!!

ndea davenport

I have spent most of my allowance oh well and I have a bad cold i am coughing. I am going home

Sunday, February 22, 2009


why not start off monday with a smile..if you have a job u like your lucky. if you have a job that pays the bills your don't trip laff it all off and smile...stay happy...jah






Yall better listen to my walmart prank call

it makes me laff my azz off. So yall better listen to it too. it sin the video section but its no video but its madd funny

STRESSED THE "F" OUT...stds, Tigger, Brooklyn Life,,,random ythpoughts

Aight so today. Im hung right so I go hang at my girls house. So I did something trying to help her out. But I was really kinda stressed. So we went to arguing about money.

I dont argue well and usually im the type that just doesnt want to be your friend anymore rather then go thru all that. Even in relationships Im sucky at the money thing. I dont give a fucjk about money for moneys sake. I give it away as fast as I get it. When I was out there running the streets I never worshoipped the dollar so I get aggie at peoploe who grew up broke and treat money like Jesus Christ re incarnate or something.

I know what she said cuz she tried to pull some slick shit. So I was like u know what...Im out. So I fume about the situation. Cayuse shes my girl I realy look out 4 her every damn day.

Meanwhile everyones calling asking whats up and wha happened. Nujjas all the way in bed Sty that im not really feelin. Fake ass thugs But im no gossip so I am like. Naw I aint even talking bout that BS. Thats me and mas shit to deal with

But I froze her out all day. Cause shes a mistress of the double talk game but she didnt know im game smart even if she is way older than me. She has game tho but its not good enough to fool me. But her game can be dangerous

So about 7:30 I pop thru and shes all like she didnt say that im stressed, hung, etc so I was like kewl...alright and acted like the oakie doke was all fine and said to myself

This BITCH bears watching.

The bad part is I kinda love her. Maybe not romantically. the ? would I do her? probbly if she asked LOL. Thats f up. cause its just real. I probbly would but it doesnt look to be a great time...ewww . Thats how I eneded up married the first time over a damn fuck. ( But it was the best straight sex I ever had in my life made me wanna stop fucking around for all of three weeks!

But if I had to I would. Does this make sense? what does in my world? My world is crazy

So she goes with my friend and hes like. He knows me hes like...smilin cuz he knows how i flow. Hes cool but you lknow what. When it comes to chicks and guys and gays too. When they are into someone they flip on everyone outside the orginal circle.

This older lady I know got me outta a tight spot. I owe her to i gotta do something nice 4 her caause ppl guys anyway are always using her and shit. I dont wanna be in that catergory at all. Shes cool peeps shes old enough to be my moms but shes like kool tho.

Imma chill tonight im staying in . I get my cavity done tomorrow. I hate the dentist. Imma stop eating laffy taffy that will messu up.

Gabe is chilling and all. Hes a cool person nothing realy flusters him at all. Cept stuff I get into.

Vee is hatin on me this week. I dont understand that dude hes straight and all but has a gay mind. Like when I dont speak cuz im really a moody person. Boogie use to say " That kid has Non days" meaning im just non responsive. Im moody as hell. hes a undercover bitch LOL i bet! jesus 1 life is crazy

I saw a psych once and he said I was borderline something or nother ( that moody disease) . I told that fool. Look who the hell do u know thats happy and jovial all the time. Im not. Show me a 24 hour hapy mother ill show u a frontin schemin ass.

He gave me a prescription for my trouble. I took one pill that pill fucked me up so bad i couldnt even pee in the tioilet straight I threw themn out. It was tramadol. Ill never forget that shit. I wanted to faint.

But I think we are all mentally challenged cause the world is so fucked up. Sometimes I feel like that guy who played pac in the mpovie "notorious" i dont know who to trust. People really be fuckin over me sometimes.

People always have their own agendas.

if its not money

its sex

not sex

its some other shit

Sometimes I wonder do I have a sign on me that says "try me" i might be a mark lol

Nita stopped by. She looks good to have a 29 year old son. Shes a prostitute. She be telling me mad funny stories when she stops by. Hell I dont look down on her better to sell it then just give it away is what I say.

Some people run around sucking dick and fucking then dont even have a ciggrette or a cold soda so I have a great respect for hoes.

Hell, If I was a female. I wouldnt fuck half the niggers I know for free. Why? Cause they dont understand love they just wanna bust. So, hell pay the piper.

However, I wouldnt pay a man or woman a thin dime cause I figure my shit is just as good as theirs now thats some fucked up logic. But thats how i feel. I dont understand these paymasters. They want a man so bad they will pay for it? Like imma pay to get fucked? thats crazy! To each his own tho.

When I was like a sixteen year old I was not very nice. These older katts were always trying to buy sex. I would beat their asses everytime steal their cars and crash em. cause id tell these katts im 15 and they would think 100 dollars was worth fuckin someones grandfather??? hell nah but I stopped because I realized they were some sick fucks. Who wants to play videos with a old prune? It just aint right.

One guy saw me somewhere and said I was mean. It ewas in penn station. I told him to shut the fuck up before I have him arrested for trying to suck a minors dick in the bathroom. Then told him to give me 50 bucks. he did too gave me like 75. Unbelievable. I looked at himn and told him man you are a lame sick mother fucker. I remember that. he got killed cause he was in the paper. he was our neighbor. Richard Bailey they cut his dick off and put it in his mouth. his body was decomposing for like 4 days and the police came round my mothers and I told them that he was like gay and would be in the bathroom at penn station. I wonder if they found his killer. He had a son my age we were cool in elementry school. He was like a lawyer to cause I remember when they built his house. My mother said thats called a mother daughter house. He had a beautiful wife too, they divorced when he realized he liked men...well really little boys

I once met a huster. I told that nuka he better pay me. Ill be dammned if Imma work on a stranger I met at a bar and still be poor? Crazy. Sex without or at least infatuation or lust to me is damn work. Id rather be playing a video game or something then sleeping with a dude just cause hes cute. Ill just wack off later thinking about him and then im good. im so childish but thats just me

maybe deep down I have a hustlers mentality but I swear I see the world as it is. Full of crap artists. I hate to be played.

Some guys are nice tho some gays are nice but they are so damn desperate its gross. I met this katt once. He was cute as hell and like he was totally my type I use to call him Tigger. he was a second grade school teacher. me and Gabe were like on the outs this was probbly 2002 or thereabout.

The kid had me strung! I swear he was a second grade teacher too. and was maybe 3 years older. But he was so sissyfied. He said will u be mny husbandd? WTF??? Husband? I soo didnt get that shit back then.

During that time i was into playing ball and hanging out alot I didnt have much gay friends and where I lived was like crip territory and alot of them I was kool with. I was living in East Flatbush. That was a year b4 i went to college too. Cause I was on my first year here in NY then I went to NC. My pops really wanted me to graduate I did it for him. OI swear I didnt learn shit I didnt get into the pledging shit or nothing. Peeps liked me but I just wasnt into the experience at that time

But Id go over his house everynight and id buy that kid candy and act like a schoolboy. He had me for all but one minute when he asked me some sexual shit that didnt really excite me so I was like this is the way it is. he didnt like that too much Mother fucker LOL

Then when I was on a date with somebody at damnn ghetto place that sells shrimp al the gheto goes their they sell seafood real cheap. he kept calling me and I dissed him and I lost him cuz I was kinda an assholeI so should have treated him better. maybe I should have been his husband or whatever.

But he wasnt healthy and at that timne i didnt know alot about HIV and stuff. I was like why you didnt tell me till 2 minutes before I take my drawewrs off. I didnt think that was kewl but at least he did tell me. I always respected him for that. Plus at that time I didnt think HIV was such a big deal seemed like half NY had that shit then. They didnt look to be sufferin so I was a little ignorant I knew what it was tho I just wasnt thinkin straight cause I liked tigger so much

I was really horny too and was like fuck it! I wanted to do that so bad you dont use logic. Yes I did I thought that! Im still like tripping now. But I was so open. That ole yellow demon I was sorta strung on him. I think because I thought he needed me. Like when he was with me he could hang out at the park and no one messed with him. I wasnt undercover either people always use to say that jahs a fuckin freak at that time I just did what I wanted and hung with whoever so it wasnt a closet thing. He dug that

I was like gonna wear a rubber anyway. Tho I admit I was not on point with the rubbers back then. I just didnt like em they would always catch a hair down their and make me uncomfortable. That shit hurts pulls a pubic hair! Social diseses suck!

I see him from time to time and I get this little tug at my heart and I swear like i get a hard on just lookin at that katt. He was like 5 5' and smaller than me like 120 punds and had a pretty color like tiger woods sort of and pretty white teeth. So maybe that was the attraction and had such pretty skin. I use to feel mad thuggiish cause he was such a sissy he was way prettier than me. So I could get with that and not feel intimidated LOL

I use to feel very intimidated cause some of these dudes are just too thuggish. Me I like nerds cute ones but like nerds. I dated a few thugs but I have no desire to feel like a bitch.. Which is weird cause im gay as hell sometimes and not the hardest guy in the world. My world is so crazy.

So I either use to meet thugs or feminine men or drag queens. So I was for years one of those people that was just not in a catergory.

People would say "are u really gay?"

Cayse i was so just me. Never thought to act a certin way. Oh well

LOL thats crazy right?

But its mad real. I figured one of us better be tough hell!

oh well talk about some random thoughts!

bus humour

You are on the bus when you suddenly realize ... you need to fart.
The music is really loud, so you time your farts with the beat. After
a couple of songs, you start to feel better as you approach your stop.
As you are leaving the bus, people are really staring you down, and

that's when you remember: you've been listening to your ipod.

From My friend Ken (humour )

I didn't know for sure whether or not I should forward this and I'm doing so simply to make it possible for me to give you our United States difference from some of those listed here.

You see, in the United States a man is entitled to marry 16 different women: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer. So, you see, we're not totally nuts.

In Lebanon , men are legally allowed to have sex with
animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual
relations with a male animal is punishable by death.

(Like THAT makes sense.)

In Bahrain , a male doctor may legally examine a
woman's genitals, but is prohibited from looking
directly at them during the examination. He may only
see their reflection in a mirror.

(Do they look different reversed?)

Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a
corpse. This also applies to undertakers. The sex organs
of the deceased must be covered with a brick or piece of
wood at all times.

(A brick?)

The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is

(Much worse than 'going blind!')

There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel
the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay
them for the privilege of having sex for the first time.
Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for
virgins to marry.

(Let's just think for a minute; is there
any job anywhere else in the world that even comes
close to this?)

In Hong Kong , a betrayed wife is legally allowed to
kill her adulterous husband, but may only do so with
her bare hands.

The husband's illicit lover, on the other hand, may be
killed in any manner desired.

(Ah! Justice!)

Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool , England
but only in tropical fish stores.

(But of course!)

In Cali , Colombia , a woman may only have sex with
her husband, and the first time this happens, her
mother must be in the room to witness the act.

(Makes one shudder at the thought.)

In Santa Cruz , Bolivia , it is illegal for a man to have
sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time.

(I presume this was such a huge problem that
they had to pass this law?)

In Maryland , it is illegal to sell condoms from vending
machines with one exception: Prophylactics may be
dispensed from a vending machine only in places where
alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the

(Is this a great country or what?

Well, not as great as Guam !)

And, the best for last?

Turtles can breathe through their butts.

(And I thought I had bad breath in the morning!)

Thank you for reading this. If you need to reach me
in the future, I will be in Guam

this is not pat driving! (humour)

This is NOT Patricia driving!


For doggies 'on the move' :

Some dogs, live better than some people do!

. . . . It even has storm windows and Air Conditioning !

This pooch's palace is valued at $8,000:

A $10,500. dog house.... with a lake view,..
flat screen TV and air conditioning! This is the front view:

...This is the BEAUTIFUL

How about a Spanish style? (Valued between $15,000.-$20, 000.)

Saturday, February 21, 2009

$:33 arrival time

Had fun tonight went to a party on the other side of Eastern parkway got totally smashed. I had sooo much fun and the music was Jazz and african drum music. It was cool. Then I went to Crown Heights and balled with my regular crew. It was butter cuz your boi was toasted but I was druinkin totally good liquor so it was a good fucked up.

Then brought people home. Now im chillin. Drunk but mellow and listening to Chrisette Michelle.

Life is good. I missed one invite so they are mad Fuck em...Myra and her man invited me over but I was just too occupied ill apolifgize they wont even pick upo the phone. Oh well

Her man is getting crazier and crazier everyday. He looks like he use to be fine. Use to be...Very long time ago like. But thats my boi 4 real

then i come home E got kicked out his girls house and is basically living out of his car dumb de dumb the cars new too. Hes with my enemy d me and ole boi do not get along. Could this lead to a tryst in later years ( he looks like a baby gorilla ) i couldnt. He always got slick shit to say when we out. I be like say whatt? hater. a str8 hater lol. bette rbe glad my ass is gay or I would so take al hgis chicks even the ugly ones on GP.

Might do it anyway. Nah thats not my style.

Im going to bed

What type of people have you dated?

Every now and then I go thru my photo albums and look at some of the people I dated and wonder what they are doing now?

Are they alive

Are they dead?

Are they rich?

Poor? whats the dilly?

I wonder!

IU dated an awful lot from 18 to maybe 27. Which wasnt the healthiest thing in hindsight

I had this feeling then that I had to be with someone. It damn sure wasnt validation I just liked to go with people.

Its amazing how we grow as people over the years!

The funny thing is they all look so diffrent and have none of the same qualities as the others.

This to me seems odd. Most people have a type but I looked at a high school photo album where I dated this Irish Kid name Danny. he wanted to be black tho. Hell In his heart he was blacker than me. We would go to these joints that were like illegal and drink and that guy would raise hell. The novelty wore off in less than a month.

I dated an african one time too. He didnt speak much english and sex was very cut and dry nothing tlike I thought it would be. So much for streotypes.

Thiugs and pretty boys and I even had the nerve to make a list and see how much I could remember about them all.

I put them into periods.

The blacker than black period

The high yello experience. ( yes I was colorstruck in my late teens and early twenties)

The jobless

The dope heads

The assholes

Amazing. Thank God I dont htink I had sex with most of them tho. I just had this weird hangup that If I slept with someone I should at least go woith them for a week or two. Fuckin teen logic!!!!

I even remember the very first tho I have to admit I cant remember his name! Wow.

I remember all my girl friends too.

Thank God for cameras I dont understand how people throw away such memeories.

he only person whose head I cut off was this guy named James Fiveash from Georgia. That was a sad story abusive type of shit. I have to blog about that one day

oh well

Friday, February 20, 2009


Its 5:11 am Im glad to have my old schedule back. Life is good. Im home alone and im not trippin like that lil kid in the movie. hell my apt is too damn small anyway...

I have to cuss the lady across the street out first thing tomorrow I put her old ass on my "to do" list. Shes 61 years old and I do favors for her for free. Thank God they aint sexual. Naw they are computer related. This old bitch had the nerve to scream at me cause she couldnt find a file. I screamed right back at her ass too.

I said " Who the fuck you hollerin at you aint my fuckin mama"

she says, "I aint holla"

i said

"Old bitch ill see you tomorrow"

It felt good too she deserves it.

My mama told me all old peole dont deserve respect she said "remember they were young once and they were probbly a pain in the ass then." mama was always right. Shes gonna figure that file out her damn self. But I have to curse her out cause I wont get no sleepp less I do.


Kevin J is becoming a pain! He is Brendas Nephew and whenever hes with his wife he calls me baby...Yes baby! His wife says (shes gotta be the dumbest broad I ever met by the way just pat her head and her legs fly open I bet.) She says He only calls you and me baby im like WTF I said "my f (in) name aint baby. )wtf has my life been reduced too. I need new companions. Sad part is deep down. I have some sort of distorted crush on him. Hes the type guy if you were to take him home you better hide your damn wallet and good jewlery he comes from a long line of theives. They are all good looking theives tho. ( like that maters) But he talks so fuckin gay. Like he says aww Girl please and stuff. hell, I dont even talk like that! His girl must be a retard. Women are the biggest mystery

Charles said I lost weight. I see it too. I look smaller. But Im only a 29 waist. But I weigh myself im 140 so im the same damn weight. This kid on Yahoo told me how to lose my stomich he was right. Just eat one meal a day and alot of oatmeal oh and drink insure or sports drinks. It worked to. But damn I lost weight. His diet is unhealthy. But my stomich looks good. But those drinks give you the craps. I just do the water

Gabe will be going to Canada for 6 months he will be in Ottowa. I swear the only reason we have lasted so long is were only a couple half a year. I hate Canada. The clubs all suck and im just geting into rock music which he spins their and 3 months in Quebec city. I wish for normalacy but that seems to elude me. But better a 6 month love than none at all. I get to email and write letters and yeah we use to do I Chat which I hate. I HATE I CHAT!!!

This morning feels good. I will be working all weekend and I have to make enough to pay some bills I overlooked. I think I need to stop paying bills every three months. It screws up my credit awful. Even the phone company reports you to the credit bureu. Not like we are ever getting a house. Weve gone back and forth on that shit for so many years ill just make somebody else rich and keep renting. Screw it

Charles came by today he is from Kingston Jamacia hes really a good friend. How he tolerates me is one of lifes great wonders. he wants to be down low but he likes men tooo much to be very good at it. But I egg him on and make him think no one knows his azz is Gay. Even tho hes 36 and lives with his mama and has no children. Im going to let him stay at my place when I go to Atlantic city next month. he cleans so awesomely plus I dont care who he screws as long as they dont steal my stuff. I once left him here for three weeks when I went to cali I didnt recognize my house when I got back. I m willing to go away 4 weeks for that again! I love his capabilities.

Lenny had a car accident. I owe him like 500.00 which I havent paid a damn cent. I gotta pay him. Its been three months and I cant remember what I used the money for. Thank God weve beenn friends since st bridges school days. Imma see him this weekend and the worst part is I have the money im just to lazy to go across town. With friends like me who needs enemies. I am ashamed.

Theres gay men up stairs men come and go all the time none are good looking tho. The older too. The one guy who lives their is skinny and acts slow. He talks to me all the time i talk too and as soon as he walks away I say shit like " "damn black ass bitch" why do I do that? Thats so childish. I think he is on drugs his body looks unhealthy type of thin. His breath isnt the freashest either .Plus I seen him talkin to my lo life cousin who sells crack and god knows what else yeah he does. He sells it and is still poor. Dumb ass hes a crip or something. Were not close thank God for distance. But hes been in the neighborhood all the time. Everyone says your cousin is doing this and that it gets embaraassing. Oh well

oh well I feel purged writing is good for me.

I looked at craigs list do u know you can cruise sexual encounters on their. I bet those people are ugly as homemade sin too they have the vaguest descriptions and all they put for a picture is a damn dick or a shot of their ass. Makes you wonder what the rest looks like. I might place a fake ad and see what type responses I get. Ill do that on a rainy day that will be my recreation.

The chat line has opened up again they closed it after they killed the gay man and cut him up and distributed his body in garbage bags all over brooklyn. That was soo fucked up. Youd think people would be leery nOPe me and charles were on their laughing at the dudes trying to score. Its a fun thing to do when you have no plans otherwise. Gabe hates it and says I need to grow the fuck up. But hes just mad cause he thinks one day Ill hear an ad that entices me. AS If. Im scared of strangers. I always think with my luck illl get hannibal lectors step brother or something.

Ive never even gotten aroused from the sight. Hmm maybe I will need viagra when I become a senior. Its a possiblity.

well I have tripped out enough. Lay my ass down. Ill find anything to do to not do dishes.

I will pray for a dishwasher. Im goiing to church sunday and Imma get up when they have requests and say " I would like yall to pray that the lord sends me a dishwasher" id=f i get struck down ill never be on multipoly after sunday and whomever is reading this shit ( you must have nothing to do either) will know Jah got smited. ( i love that term ....(smited)

Thursday, February 19, 2009

betcha never ever heard of this japanese holiday!

Today is "National Penis Day" in Japan !

Today is "National Penis Day" in Japan !

Random Thoughts and stuff

What a chill day. I cleaned my closet. I have a big azz collection of damn porno DVDs that I have never watched. I think I watched one a long time ago. So, I popped one into the DVD player. Called Freakdorm. It wasnt al that. But I remember going thru a phase where I thought I should get some DVDs and a friend worked in one of those now closed shops in times square and gave me some. Oh well.

Change can do two things build you or break you. I think I am getting stronger. Still dumb as hell but a lil smarter when it comes to people. Most people just wanna use you or steal your knowledge. Parasites!

I was so fed up with this dude named reggie that I spazzed on him big time. Hes such a BS type of brother. I guess hes straight. I gotta say damn that piece of shit is fine as hell. Why are fine guys so fucked up in the head. hes def fucked up. I keep tellin that red ass nukka Im not your fuckin friend. Id die to have him as a friend he looks and smells like trouble. I swear but he hangs in my neighborhood and always finds a damn excuse to holla. my prayer is may he lose his damn tounge its forked anyway

My friend came over and reggie and C were leaving and he wants a BF so bad. But I told him. U dont want that shit that just left here. But he is eyeing reggie a hard head makes a empty wallet I told him. Ythats a user there I told him. He use to make his girl turn tricks imagaine what hed do to a guy!

Years ago I remember this guy who I cant name had the nerve I was single and shit to come to my house and he got butt ass naked and he said " fuck me like a bitch" damn Im so silly that it just made me laugh. Still does. I just laugh whenever I htink of that. I was like you faggot ass bitch lol...Everyday I swear I see him and hes my morning laugh. he is a runner for this crack house up the street. I know they be dogging his behind out. Ill makes me laugh thinking about it. That means he must have become a drug user. Never considered that but why else be a runner? Damn I wanna say " sun do u remember that time you snuck in my moms crib at 3 am and said...."

Life is soo funny. Thats one skank ass dude. My friend must be very desperate. I didnt do crap with him basically he wasnt fat but his behind is really big and I kept remembering what an ass is used for I was mad trippin! I couldnt do it.

I like skinny guys. I guess I always will. I wonder where we get our preferances from in life? Ive had some weird preferances.

I am soo tripping on this blog., My mind wanders too much needs this clensing

Gabe is at his stepmothers we needed air. Sometimes he sits like a bump on a log and I have to evict him for both our sanitys. He dreams too much and puts too little action into his dreams. I guess my buddy sleeps well if nothing damn else. We will be fine in a week this is a yearly damn thing

I see alot of people cry over men and women I shed a tear for one man at 16 and one girl thats it. The rest of em i cant even muster fake tears. Im proud to be a realist if nothing damn elkse. If the shoe doesnt fit....Donate it

Gabe said thats cold but I cant beat my head up against the wall. Grown folks are what they are and we have but two choices accept it or keep it movin. Im glad we cant get married shit. That would be something. Dating is to find out what you can stand. I ride the yellow bus cause it sure is taking me awhile to figure it out. or maybe im evoling? Thats a thought

Im in limbo....7 years is a long time tho. God help us all if I wake up 7 years later then where will I be? Lookin pretty dumb and 7 years older to boot!

Ill see how it goes. Living apart for a while might make us appreciate each other more. Tho he does so little I wonder.

Im feelin good today. Im going to get my games from Kevins house and then walk the dog and go to bed. Life is a great thing long as you have health and a reasonable portion of your mind

Catching up on the music

I signed up for Rhapsody like a few days ago. Basically I was so drug with ITUNES that I let my friend borrow my IPOD and I got a sansa which is smaller and less fussy than Apple.

I cant believe that last night I listened to my first Keysha Cole song. I wasnt impressed really but I can see why the peeps are hype 4 her. So does anyone want to sugguest some good tunes. I visted Xolgems page and I like the neo sould thing so im checking out to find the song I heard. I like smooth music but im no big fan of R&B i like diffrent.

By th4e way so far rhapsody seems ok. The songs are like 99 cents but they let you put a shit load on your player so im trying to figger out their whole gig.

otherwise. Life is much of the same. Im alive and kicking. I guess when you wake up in your right mind you really have no reason to ask god or crap cuz he gave u life hell what more so u want for him to find your pot o gold too? LOL...

Im happy as hell today and no im not high either. Well I have been binging on # musketeers, suzy Q's and soda..

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Hoping everyone well!

I havent been putting in my usually blog time and visting pages due to a lil not too good stuff happening.

But I wish all my contacts well and soon I hope to get back to normal....Peace....

Monday, February 16, 2009


Some economic news from zycie:
Stimulus Payment Information

This year, taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment. This is a very exciting new program that I will explain using the Q and A format:

Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

Q. Where will the government get this money?
A. From taxpayers.

Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
A. Only a smidgen.

Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high- definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China?
A. Shut up.


Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:

If you spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to China.

If you spend it on gasoline it will go to the Arabs.

If you purchase a computer it will go to India.

If you purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico, Honduras, and Guatemala (unless you buy organic).

If you buy a car it will go to Japan.

If you purchase useless crap it will go to Taiwan.

And none of it will help the American economy.

We need to keep that money here in America. You can keep the money in America by spending it at yard sales, going to a baseball game, or spend it on prostitutes, beer and wine (domestic ONLY), funerals, weddings, or tattoos, since those are the only businesses still in the US.


[] is the longest word
typed with only the left hand.

And 'lollipop' is the longest word typed
with your right hand.

No word in the English language rhymes with
month , orange, silver, or purple.

' Dreamt' is the only English word that ends in the letters 'mt'.


Our eyes [] are always the same size from birth,
but our nose[] and ears
never stop growing.


The words 'racecar,' [] 'kayak' [] and 'level' []are the same whether they are read left to right
or right to left (palindromes).

There are two words in the English language that have all five vowels in order: 'abstemious' and 'facetious.'

A cat has 32 muscles in each ear

A goldfish [] has a memory span of three seconds .

A 'jiffy' is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.


A shark [] is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.

A snail [] can sleep for three years.

are a member of the peach [] family.

An ostrich's eye[] is bigger than its brain.

Babies[] are born without kneecaps.

They don't appear until the child reaches 2 to 6 years of age.

February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.


In the last 4,000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.


If the population of China walked past you, 8 abreast,
the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction.


Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors


Peanuts [] are one of the ingredients of dynamite!

Rubber bands[] last longer when refrigerated.

The cruise liner, QE 2,
moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.

The microwave [] was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.

The winter of 1932 was so cold that Niagara

Falls []
froze completely solid .

There are more chickens []than people in the world..

Winston Churchill
was born in a ladies' room during a dance.

Women blink[] nearly twice as much as men.