Aight so today. Im hung right so I go hang at my girls house. So I did something trying to help her out. But I was really kinda stressed. So we went to arguing about money.
I dont argue well and usually im the type that just doesnt want to be your friend anymore rather then go thru all that. Even in relationships Im sucky at the money thing. I dont give a fucjk about money for moneys sake. I give it away as fast as I get it. When I was out there running the streets I never worshoipped the dollar so I get aggie at peoploe who grew up broke and treat money like Jesus Christ re incarnate or something.
I know what she said cuz she tried to pull some slick shit. So I was like u know what...Im out. So I fume about the situation. Cayuse shes my girl I realy look out 4 her every damn day.
Meanwhile everyones calling asking whats up and wha happened. Nujjas all the way in bed Sty that im not really feelin. Fake ass thugs But im no gossip so I am like. Naw I aint even talking bout that BS. Thats me and mas shit to deal with
But I froze her out all day. Cause shes a mistress of the double talk game but she didnt know im game smart even if she is way older than me. She has game tho but its not good enough to fool me. But her game can be dangerous
So about 7:30 I pop thru and shes all like she didnt say that im stressed, hung, etc so I was like kewl...alright and acted like the oakie doke was all fine and said to myself
This BITCH bears watching.
The bad part is I kinda love her. Maybe not romantically. the ? would I do her? probbly if she asked LOL. Thats f up. cause its just real. I probbly would but it doesnt look to be a great time...ewww . Thats how I eneded up married the first time over a damn fuck. ( But it was the best straight sex I ever had in my life made me wanna stop fucking around for all of three weeks!
But if I had to I would. Does this make sense? what does in my world? My world is crazy
So she goes with my friend and hes like. He knows me hes like...smilin cuz he knows how i flow. Hes cool but you lknow what. When it comes to chicks and guys and gays too. When they are into someone they flip on everyone outside the orginal circle.
This older lady I know got me outta a tight spot. I owe her to i gotta do something nice 4 her caause ppl guys anyway are always using her and shit. I dont wanna be in that catergory at all. Shes cool peeps shes old enough to be my moms but shes like kool tho.
Imma chill tonight im staying in . I get my cavity done tomorrow. I hate the dentist. Imma stop eating laffy taffy that will messu up.
Gabe is chilling and all. Hes a cool person nothing realy flusters him at all. Cept stuff I get into.
Vee is hatin on me this week. I dont understand that dude hes straight and all but has a gay mind. Like when I dont speak cuz im really a moody person. Boogie use to say " That kid has Non days" meaning im just non responsive. Im moody as hell. hes a undercover bitch LOL i bet! jesus 1 life is crazy
I saw a psych once and he said I was borderline something or nother ( that moody disease) . I told that fool. Look who the hell do u know thats happy and jovial all the time. Im not. Show me a 24 hour hapy mother ill show u a frontin schemin ass.
He gave me a prescription for my trouble. I took one pill that pill fucked me up so bad i couldnt even pee in the tioilet straight I threw themn out. It was tramadol. Ill never forget that shit. I wanted to faint.
But I think we are all mentally challenged cause the world is so fucked up. Sometimes I feel like that guy who played pac in the mpovie "notorious" i dont know who to trust. People really be fuckin over me sometimes.
People always have their own agendas.
if its not money
its sex
not sex
its some other shit
Sometimes I wonder do I have a sign on me that says "try me" i might be a mark lol
Nita stopped by. She looks good to have a 29 year old son. Shes a prostitute. She be telling me mad funny stories when she stops by. Hell I dont look down on her better to sell it then just give it away is what I say.
Some people run around sucking dick and fucking then dont even have a ciggrette or a cold soda so I have a great respect for hoes.
Hell, If I was a female. I wouldnt fuck half the niggers I know for free. Why? Cause they dont understand love they just wanna bust. So, hell pay the piper.
However, I wouldnt pay a man or woman a thin dime cause I figure my shit is just as good as theirs now thats some fucked up logic. But thats how i feel. I dont understand these paymasters. They want a man so bad they will pay for it? Like imma pay to get fucked? thats crazy! To each his own tho.
When I was like a sixteen year old I was not very nice. These older katts were always trying to buy sex. I would beat their asses everytime steal their cars and crash em. cause id tell these katts im 15 and they would think 100 dollars was worth fuckin someones grandfather??? hell nah but I stopped because I realized they were some sick fucks. Who wants to play videos with a old prune? It just aint right.
One guy saw me somewhere and said I was mean. It ewas in penn station. I told him to shut the fuck up before I have him arrested for trying to suck a minors dick in the bathroom. Then told him to give me 50 bucks. he did too gave me like 75. Unbelievable. I looked at himn and told him man you are a lame sick mother fucker. I remember that. he got killed cause he was in the paper. he was our neighbor. Richard Bailey they cut his dick off and put it in his mouth. his body was decomposing for like 4 days and the police came round my mothers and I told them that he was like gay and would be in the bathroom at penn station. I wonder if they found his killer. He had a son my age we were cool in elementry school. He was like a lawyer to cause I remember when they built his house. My mother said thats called a mother daughter house. He had a beautiful wife too, they divorced when he realized he liked men...well really little boys
I once met a huster. I told that nuka he better pay me. Ill be dammned if Imma work on a stranger I met at a bar and still be poor? Crazy. Sex without or at least infatuation or lust to me is damn work. Id rather be playing a video game or something then sleeping with a dude just cause hes cute. Ill just wack off later thinking about him and then im good. im so childish but thats just me
maybe deep down I have a hustlers mentality but I swear I see the world as it is. Full of crap artists. I hate to be played.
Some guys are nice tho some gays are nice but they are so damn desperate its gross. I met this katt once. He was cute as hell and like he was totally my type I use to call him Tigger. he was a second grade school teacher. me and Gabe were like on the outs this was probbly 2002 or thereabout.
The kid had me strung! I swear he was a second grade teacher too. and was maybe 3 years older. But he was so sissyfied. He said will u be mny husbandd? WTF??? Husband? I soo didnt get that shit back then.
During that time i was into playing ball and hanging out alot I didnt have much gay friends and where I lived was like crip territory and alot of them I was kool with. I was living in East Flatbush. That was a year b4 i went to college too. Cause I was on my first year here in NY then I went to NC. My pops really wanted me to graduate I did it for him. OI swear I didnt learn shit I didnt get into the pledging shit or nothing. Peeps liked me but I just wasnt into the experience at that time
But Id go over his house everynight and id buy that kid candy and act like a schoolboy. He had me for all but one minute when he asked me some sexual shit that didnt really excite me so I was like this is the way it is. he didnt like that too much Mother fucker LOL
Then when I was on a date with somebody at damnn ghetto place that sells shrimp al the gheto goes their they sell seafood real cheap. he kept calling me and I dissed him and I lost him cuz I was kinda an assholeI so should have treated him better. maybe I should have been his husband or whatever.
But he wasnt healthy and at that timne i didnt know alot about HIV and stuff. I was like why you didnt tell me till 2 minutes before I take my drawewrs off. I didnt think that was kewl but at least he did tell me. I always respected him for that. Plus at that time I didnt think HIV was such a big deal seemed like half NY had that shit then. They didnt look to be sufferin so I was a little ignorant I knew what it was tho I just wasnt thinkin straight cause I liked tigger so much
I was really horny too and was like fuck it! I wanted to do that so bad you dont use logic. Yes I did I thought that! Im still like tripping now. But I was so open. That ole yellow demon I was sorta strung on him. I think because I thought he needed me. Like when he was with me he could hang out at the park and no one messed with him. I wasnt undercover either people always use to say that jahs a fuckin freak at that time I just did what I wanted and hung with whoever so it wasnt a closet thing. He dug that
I was like gonna wear a rubber anyway. Tho I admit I was not on point with the rubbers back then. I just didnt like em they would always catch a hair down their and make me uncomfortable. That shit hurts pulls a pubic hair! Social diseses suck!
I see him from time to time and I get this little tug at my heart and I swear like i get a hard on just lookin at that katt. He was like 5 5' and smaller than me like 120 punds and had a pretty color like tiger woods sort of and pretty white teeth. So maybe that was the attraction and had such pretty skin. I use to feel mad thuggiish cause he was such a sissy he was way prettier than me. So I could get with that and not feel intimidated LOL
I use to feel very intimidated cause some of these dudes are just too thuggish. Me I like nerds cute ones but like nerds. I dated a few thugs but I have no desire to feel like a bitch.. Which is weird cause im gay as hell sometimes and not the hardest guy in the world. My world is so crazy.
So I either use to meet thugs or feminine men or drag queens. So I was for years one of those people that was just not in a catergory.
People would say "are u really gay?"
Cayse i was so just me. Never thought to act a certin way. Oh well
LOL thats crazy right?
But its mad real. I figured one of us better be tough hell!
oh well talk about some random thoughts!
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