blogs and random thinking on a saturday

Today this morning I visted the page I wrote about my Nana and I feel so tired now. Oh well.

Gabe goes to Quebec city today at 2:30 ill miss him the house will be so quiet oh well

I think I feel aloneish. if thats even a word. I dont wanna hang with Pat cause she drinks to fuckin much. I havent hung with her most of the week and body thanks me. I should stop being her friend shes getting to be a drag. So unhappy all the time always wants to stay home. Shes older than gabe but 47 isnt that damn old damn. Thats not eben middle age she has issues I need a new best friend...as if that would be easy...oh well

I have been riding my bicycle and im trying to quit smoking. I like the bicycle tho the police gave me a summons for riding on the sidewalk hell they drive crazy in brooklyn oh well he said tell the judge their is no bike lane and i wont have to spend any money

I like those damn parliments tho. If I smoke newports i would probbly quit faster. funny I never smoke in the house just outside...but I only smoke like 3 a day its amental habit maybe? I smoked a half ciggrette tody cigreets are 8.50 in New york sometimes nine dollars thats a lot of money over a period of damn time

Imma stay to myself this weekend except to help t take pictures for her ebay shop or whatever. Seclusion seems comforting but the damn phone is always ringing im sick of it too

Its goiung to be a very long three months, I hope to go to canada a few weekends but with our bills ichat may be the only visitation.

Javonnie got locked outta his house. He told me why they broke up and about the dog and asked for a plate of food. I give him chicken and rice it was really patricks i told him that tho he didnt care. I had to tell him to go home cuz I was sleepy plus I dont want to be his friend really. He has more problems then me shit and ill end up trying to help him and get screwed as usual.

Gabe says to follow my mind but never turn away a hungry person. Hell he should have food if they are doing all that stuff up there and im a stranger cept to their dog and his ex. The same old story but its news to me

Pats boyfriend gave me a cake he calls me his brother. Hes ok i guess. Why do I always feel its gonna cost me something is the wotld that jacked up...?

Gomez hasnt called me back. Thats my oldest friend and i havent made the effort to drive to east NY I miss our friendship its my fault too. I have to do better. he is in therpy for his accident I will buy a card today and mail it and also send some flowers. That would be nice. He must think I abandoned him. ....

baby just called. Its 8:00 i was like im sleeping...shes a mess too

i am hiungry i am going to get something to eat and start the day