Monday, August 31, 2009
Yesterday was...One of dem daze. You know, the type that you don't get out of the bed till 4pm and don't hit the bath or shower till almost six then you realize the house needs cleaning ( and your hands seem to be the only ones which work) No food has been cook. Your mate has a attitude and so do you....Yeah,here one of dem days.
But, as corny as it may sound there really is a silver lining or at least stainless steel. Around six thirty I got a call and one of my closest friends and his wife were on the other line. I looked around at the catastrophe that is my home. I heard G back there mumbling something and I said "imma be so damn embarrassed"
Do u have people in your life that when they walk thru the door u know its gotta be the closest thing to seeing Jesus while u gettin your ass whupped in a dark alley? That's how good i felt.
My friend came in and looked and said five words "son going to get some food" His wife a gorgeous woman and one of the finest people I know. We laughed it up and just enjoyed each others company hands down!
Her husband has an entertainment company that has alot of rappers, strippers, etc and we talked about how it is to be home while our peeps seemingly party the nights away and even when you get out your really just for show or whatever. We always bond cause we are two sides of the same coin.
He had done my video for my show and she was dying to see it cause it was a bunch of old balls and some new ones but the guys were so fine and I love str8 people who don't dabble in the life because everything is new to them. Plus shes younger than me like 30 so I love to see her just be opened mouth gaggging
We ate and laughed and even Gabes mood was brighten when we realized being a friend keeps friends in your life and even if you don't hang out everyday when you need them....they are there and that to me is the best friend anyone can have
Friday, August 28, 2009
Im....YES me!!!! I'm personally responsible for the shout outs and announcements on the True Urbane Havoc Shows "No Chattin Fridays" Kids and local supporters of the show have really blessed me!I have a list of all upcoming events ( do u know I use to never get no 411!) and if anyone knows of an event be it a march, a ball, a anniversary I request you git at me so I can put it in my feww 22 second slots lol"
The show will be posted on my page so you can take a listen and if you wish to download it (as its mostly music and very hot music at that! the link will be provided .)
Thank you everyone who has taken time to listen and those of you who have shown an X tra teaspoon of love by leaving a comment or remark or just being .....well...lets just say shady
The shows new format is really fun and you will here some local shade outs" and the orginal Gossip Boi XOXO will be given the 411 on trades and dykes to watch out for. If you remember that was the text club that would post pictures and commentary when the children got robbed or between in the local or surrounding areas. I was scared of that club! The texts were wicked because he'd post the photos of pickups that had taken wallets, stole earrings and all types of young gay boy foolishness then not to be undone the girls started sending in fierce texts on girls in the gay life that were pulling shennanigans! Thats my boi!
This weekeneds show is called 'Meet The Family' and its a mix of live shows from the various DJ houses here in brooklyn also a tribute to our goddess of dance Daphane Rubin-Vega We have tracks from Lo Down, True Urban, A live set from a party in Coney Island and of course some humour and info that is bound to be great...
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Numerous historians and cultural commentators have traced the origins of today's house ball scene to the notorious culture of Harlem drag balls in 1920s and 1930s New York. Between roughly 1919 and 1935, an artistic movement that would come to be known as the "Harlem Renaissance" transformed the culture of uptown Manhattan not only as a result of its establishing new trends in black literature, music and politics but also for its scandalous night life and party culture.
The Harlem drag balls -- usually held at venues such as the Rockland Palace on 155th street or later the Elks Lodge on 139th -- were initially organized by white gay men but featured multiracial audiences and participants. The annual pageants became a sort of who's who of Harlem's black literary elite: Langston Hughes, Zora Neale Hurston, Countee Cullen and Richard Bruce Nugent were all frequent attendees. Moreover, white photographers and socialites, such as the infamous Carl Van Vechten (author of the scandalous 1926 novel Nigger Heaven), were also in attendance.
The mixed racial dynamics of these early drag balls reflected the interracial nature of the Harlem Renaissance in general: African-American artists looked to wealthy white investors for patronage, while white spectators flocked to "hip" Harlem spaces as sources of trend-setting and exotic "negro" spectacle. The drag balls thus became a space where newly migrated African-Americans from the south and "liberal" Northern whites could imagine themselves as mavericks, as radicals pushing the norms of a then highly racially segregated U.S. culture. The lavish, carnivalesque drag balls became spaces where racial taboos were broken through sexual and gender nonconformity. The events soon evolved from grand costume parties to outright gay beauty pageants with participants competing in a variety of categories, many of which still bear resemblance to the categories of today's house ball scene (such as "Face").
However, not surprisingly, the early drag balls were plagued by an imbalance of racial power. Black performers, though allowed to participate in and attend the events, were rarely winners at the balls and often felt restricted in their ability to fully participate in the scene. Soon the black queens looked for opportunities to create a sociocultural world that was truly all their own.
An exclusively black drag ball circuit in New York City began to form around the 1960s; almost three decades after the first "girls" started to compete at the earlier drag events. However the cultural and political landscape of Harlem, specifically the neighborhoods' earlier carefree "acceptance" of drag culture, had changed drastically.
Due to the growing popularity of 1960s black nationalist rhetoric (with its rigid restrictions on how "real" black men should express themselves), the balls became a more dangerous pastime pleasure. The balls began to be held as early as 3, 4 or 5 a.m. -- a tradition that continues to this day -- in order to make it safer for participants to travel the streets of Harlem safely with high heels and feathers when "trade" had gone to sleep. The early morning start times also made renting out halls cheaper, and ensured that "the working girls" (i.e., transsexuals who made their money as late-night sex workers) would also be able to make the function.
As the drag ball circuit continued to grow even in spite of a growing hostility towards queer black cultural practices in New York City, the time had come to create specific infrastructures that could help organize the balls as well as mobilize the friendships and familial alliances that were being formed between and among participants. The world of Harlem drag balls was about to transform itself once again.
(crystal labeijaa founder of the house of lebija 1972)Here is the clip of Crystal at the end of the film: (RIP)www.veoh.com/videos/e162260W8nNHXPR
From ballroom scene to house ball: moving from drag circuits to house networks
There has been a tendency among academics -- especially in the work of gay historians such as George Chauncey and Eric Garber -- to conflate the history of the drag balls with the history of the gay houses. While the "balls" can be traced back to the elaborate drag pageants of 1930s Harlem, it is important to keep in mind that the "houses" themselves were a new phenomenon that emerged in the specific socioeconomic and political contexts of 1970s and 1980s post-industrial New York. These contexts included a spiraling decline of the city's welfare and social services net, early gentrification of urban neighborhoods through private redevelopment, decreases in funding for group homes and other social services targeting homeless youth, a sharp rise in unemployment rates among black and Latino men, and a virtual absence of funding during the Reagan era for persons newly displaced and/or homeless as result of HIV/AIDS. All of these conditions forced blacks and gays (and especially black gays) onto the streets in unprecedented numbers.
Houses became alternative kinship networks that selected a "mother" and "father" as their leaders ("parents" could be of any gender) and "children" as their general membership body. The "houses" were a literal re-creation of "homes," in the sense that these groups became real-life families for individuals that might have been exiled from their birth homes. However, contrary to popular belief, many early "house" kids were still deeply connected to their biological families but still sought the unique protection, care and love the street houses provided.
Between 1970 and 1980 at least eight major houses formed in Harlem: the House of Labeija (an African-American vernacular redeployment of the Spanish word for "beauty"), the House of Corey, the House of Wong, the House of Dupree, the House of Christian, the House of Princess and the House of Pendavis.
Just as hip hop -- with its emphasis on street crews and other forms of black male fraternal bonding -- emerged in roughly the same era as an artistic response to some of the political and economic conditions plaguing black men in New York, the houses became underground social networks by and for urban black gay people. By 1980 three houses emerged straight out of Brooklyn: the House of Omni, the House of Ebony, and the House of Chanel.
These houses were composed of mostly men, many of whom preferred masculine aesthetics over drag. The creation of houses transformed the drag circuit forever as newer populations, some of which would have never been attracted to drag balls, entered into the community. A rich taxonomy of gender personas and identities flooded in: thugged-out hustlers who were "new" to gay culture, butch lesbians with erotic attachments to gay men, bootleg black designers and fashionistas eager to put their garments "to test" in a new, urban scene.
The term "drag" now meant something much richer than only men who cross-dressed as women. Drag was now a metaphor for everyday life -- everyone was in some way or another performing a specific identity, regardless of whether or not cross-dressing was involved. In attempt to make sense of this growing array of gender performance, ball kids adopted a complicated language system that accounted for the different types of identities they noticed in the community: "Butch Queens" was a term used to describe any biologically born male that presented himself of as male, "Butch Queens Up in Drag" on the other hand came to signify gay men who dressed in drag specifically for the balls, but still lived his everyday life as a man.
"Femme Queens" were preoperative male to female transsexuals, often known for their alluring beauty and uncanny "realness." "Butches" was a term used to describe either aggressive lesbian women or female-to-male transsexuals. The term "woman" was only reserved for either heterosexual, biologically born women or feminine lesbians that did not identify with the "butch" title. Finally "trade" was meant to describe men whose sexuality might have been in question even if their masculinity was not. This language system for describing gender in the house ball scene exists to this day.
By the end of the 1980s, the balls were no longer the single most important element of the culture, as the houses provided a new life outside of the balls. The drag ball scene had now become the "house ball scene," with hundreds of individuals belonging to "houses" even if they did not participate in the drag events.
How hip-hop changed house ball culture
By the mid-'90s, long after Paris Is Burning had come and gone, house ball culture continued to evolve, while still remaining true to its history. as a form of cultural expression by and for working-class African-American and Latina/o queer people from urban inner cities. Though the scene started in New York City, by 1996 there were sizable house ball communities in the roughest sections of Washington, D.C., Philadelphia, Detroit, Chicago, Miami, and Los Angeles as well as in parts of North Carolina and South Carolina. In each of the cities, balls kids adopted and incorporated other, more local forms to make the culture regionally specific and relevant. This was the case with Atlanta's house ball scene, which borrowed from local black styles like "J-Setting," and Los Angeles, which even incorporated "krumpin'" into the culture.
Across all the regions one thing was clear, though: whereas house music and dance culture served as the soundtrack and political landscape of the '80s scene, by the mid-'90s the influence of hip-hop on house ball culture was transformative.
Hip-hop was much more than a musical style -- it was a movement. As a renaissance of sorts (albeit highly manufactured), hip-hop influenced and popularized certain notions of black masculinity and gender relations that found their way into the house ball scene.
Categories at the balls such as "Thug Realness," "Urban Streetwear," "Bangee Realness" and "Foot and Eyewear" were all indebted to hip-hop culture's emphasis on bling bling aesthetics, aggressive black masculinities, in your face black style, baby mama drama and other racialized forms of expression. Many "voguers" in the community started looking for gigs as choreographers for hip-hop artists, as was the case with legends such as Andre Mizrahi of Atlanta and Pony Blahnik of New York City. "Voguing" transformed from the Willi Ninja-esque, "pose" heavy style (mis)appropriated by Madonna, to more a fluid, acrobatic dance which now looked like a sort of new black gay break dance.
Moreover, because of the scene's deeply underground nature, and also because of the creation of categories like "best dressed man," "masculine face" and "realness," the house ball community provided a new space for discrete working-class men of color (men on "the D.L.") to feel comfortable participating in an openly SGL culture without necessarily outright identifying as gay. The incorporation of hip-hop into the scene broadened the full spectrum of gender performances that ball society became home to.
House ball culture today
Today's house ball scene features over 100 active "houses" in more than 13 cities across the country. In New York City alone there are at least 30 houses with memberships of a dozen or more: Aphrodite, Allure, Milan, Blahnik, Balenciaga, Mizrahi, Miyake-Mugler, Chanel, Infiniti, Revlon, Evisu, Prodigy, Latex, Xtravaganza, Ninja, Prada, St. Clair, Jourdan, Khan, La Perla, Labeija, Escada, Pendavis, Cavalli, Karan, Ebony, Omni, Tsnumani, Angel and Icon. While every individual ball can often have dozens, sometimes even hundreds, of specific criteria, all of the categories are still organized around six major concepts: realness, face, sex and body, runway, performance and fashion.
Many outsiders misinterpret the house ball scene's fascination with things like labels and fashion as a simplistic envying of white consumer culture. However, in actuality, a closer look at the sociocultural context of the balls shows that this is really not the case. The categories themselves are not nearly as important as the competition, kinship and relationships that are formed by and through the preparation for the events and the effects of gaining "status" within the community.
Also, house ball culture is rooted in a rich tradition of African-American cultural practices that privilege inversion, code switching and signifyin'. Thus, unlike hip-hop culture, the emphasis on bling bling and acting like a "white woman" is actually more of an ironic mockery and critique of these values more so than a straight-forward embracing.
In a moment when the culture of black gay life in New York has been reduced to an endless parade of "hot boy" parties, "sup niggah" salutations and lukewarm political "activism," the creation of spaces where new modes of black masculinity, kinship and love can thrive is particularly inventive. House ball culture, with its rich and complicated history as an alternative site of black "community," moves us forward to time and place where black queer people can imagine new ways of making home -- and identity itself -- from scratch.
Frank Leon Roberts is a 24-year-old public intellectual, cultural critic and doctoral candidate at NYU. Find his work at BrooklynBoyBlues.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
when your broke payday is so far away!
I went on Fulton today in the course of a block at least 7 people were asking for change. By the time the third person asked I was just evil. I said " shit u asking the wrong one I aint got no money to be giving away" I see by the time you walk straight down Fulton to Downtown you could be broke if U gave everyone some money.
The recession is hurting every resturant except McDonalds.
Mario is a pain. I hate people who call me and have two or three convos going hes a pain. If he wasnt my tight id start sending his corny ass to voice mail.
Tonight is boring
If you can start the day without caffeine,
If you can get going without pep pills,
If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,
If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,
If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it,
If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time,
If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,
If you can resist treating a rich friend better than a poor friend,
If you can conquer tension without medical help,
If you can relax without liquor,
If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,
...Then You Are Probably The Family Dog!
And you thought I was going to get all spiritual with this, huh?!
Monday, August 24, 2009
I was reading some mail from a Yahoo group and they were talking about these gay crusies. Are these basically for single folk? It seems it would be nice ( If I had the money which I dont but one never knows) to be in such an enviroment where one could be really comfortable and just enjoy your vacation.
But in the group people were saying the guy would be the only black person etc. This wouldnt really bother me at all the color thing cause if your cool im good with it. But I would worry about the music like if I love say jazz i woulnt want 5 days of Country western or id I was a hip hop head 5 days of pop.
So has anyone been on one and give me the 411? From my research they are not very expensive if you plan ahead and stuff. But even if they were a nickel if they arent worth it it would be too much.
Id like to take one in the next three years myself
Yesterday Gabe and I were eating our usual sunday dinner Chicken and Rice when out of the blue he shocked me. He said " I wont miss DJing at all. I was like OK. He said A lot of my old shit is floating around. ( he feels old because he is 45 years young!)
I didn't think anything about it.He goes thru these binges of complaints. He didnt handle turning 40 very well. You would have thought he was turning 70! Well, he pulled out his laptop( this man has a mac book that unless its hooked up top a sound system he NEVER uses) Now! Im shocked! He showed me a old video from 1995 when he was with some record company called 1st avenue records and he released a song ( I never heard of) he said No one else had either but it has a video too! The story goes he released the record amde the video and everything was set to go and the company was bought by Arista he (obviously) wasnt kept and dropped from the label. he started DJing and never looked back. Wow it just goes to show we never really know what our mates have done they dont always tell everything you just have to hang in there and you learn as years roll on.
I saw the video I how often do u see someone looking 100% better 14 years later! He looked so diffrent he was like 30 years old then when he did it and he was this pudgy but I must admit really, really handsome dude. Hes singing and rapping and I was like wow! His voice was OK too but im not a big fan of my mans singing. His voice reminded me of The guy who sang Lollipop Love really light. But pleasant
Of course I asked who the heifer was he was holding hands and singing too LOL
This made my start of the week tho. Plus its cool to see someone b4 you got with them 14 15 years prior. Im going to have a happy day
Today for the first time Mallory felt like he was a true New Yorker as the train pulled into the 50th street station he immediately woke up. Mouth feeling a little pasty in direct contrast to the smell of the vera wang Cologne he had used a little to generously this morning. He looked into the eyes of a woman that was staring at him not a malicious "ah he aint shit" stare but a I know this guy from some damn where stare. In Mallory's world those were the worst type of stares. Especially from a plus sized, ample breasted woman.
Mallory adverted his glance focusing on the "D" trains door as they opened and the subway car vomited out the crowd that was standing four deep to get out. As he headed up the stairs he couldn't help but notice how comfortable the shoes a more than generous gift from his newest "friend" . Well, he reasoned their 450.00 Guchiis and obviously not knock offs. This thought brought made a small smile of satisfaction take over his face. Life in New York was good.
Back home in Sarasota fla the only thing that said Gucci was at the local belks women section and of course the bootleg section at Big Danny's Four Mile Flea Market. How did he ever get away! Why did it take so long?
As he passed his landmark Radio City Music hall he couldn't help remembering how when he first landed the job at Du can, Wilder and Associates the only way he could find the office was it was a half a block away from Radio City. The only named that mattered in advertising and marketing was such a unpresumptous looking place you could walk right by and not even know these were the offices that held accounts with the products that could make or break any television show.
Lena Markedly the front desk secretary smiled warmly as he walked passed her desk. On more than one occasion she had made it known that if he was even the slightest bit interested she was more than interested. She sighed and picked up her ringing phone as she noticed he hadn't even noticed her.
Rounding the south corridor of the office building he opened his door only to find that as usual his intern Anbrell Mickens as already there. Also present A large steaming cup of Starbucks coffee made just the way he liked it. 3 pure cane sugars a dash of Cinnamon and a teaspoon of milk along with a freash apple pastry and of course the requisite box of magnolias red velvet cupcake sat on his desk. Anbrell tall, cafe au lait colored brother with the best line he had ever seen on a brothers head sat dressed in all black with a pair of Hugo Boss shoes casually staring at him.
"Good morning Mr. Tanked"
"Mallory will do man Mallory will do." He said easily as he made a bee line to his coffee. He always felt awkward when talking to this particular intern. He had what very few black interns seemed to have. Charisma. He actually found himself listening to the ideas that this intern offered and often engaging him to come up with his own ideas and present them during the first half hour of their work day. Unheard of in advertising, unheard of on madison Ave, Unheard of period. Interns were a necessary evil. They were to be seen not heard unless you could rip off the few ideas these fresh recruits could muster.
Andrell smiled he had one of those smiles that always left one thinking, women as well as men What the heck is on this guys mind? Is he real or memorex. Plus, even though Mallory thought of himself as a straight African American male. This brother was handsome. Somehow he had a sneaking suspicion this internal battle was not lost on Andrell...Not at all.
The old boys club of African American male and female professionals was brutal. Homosexuality was a no no. Don't ask don't tell wasn't the mantra. The mantra was if your gay or lesbian get a big house with a big closet with a bigger lock and hide that embarrassing sick shit. Everyone was trying to get ahead and no one wanted to be a double jeopardy employee. Male, black and gay. often causing interns that were of that particular persuasion to seek refuge working with anything other then the lack staff. This was serious business. To be black listed in New York's advertising club meant a whole new change of profession. Where else in the world are their advertising agencies that handle major accounts except New York City? No where.......
Mallory hated that every now and again he remembered exactly who he was and even worse what he did to get where he was. Oh it wasn't a disgust it was simply that he felt it was unfair. He had graduated 34th in his class. he arrived in NYC a week later with four thousand dollars, a small suitcase, a rolf briefcase a graduation gift from his grandmother. A few weeks later he was dead broke and sleeping with a African american female publisher that could easily have been his grandmothers life long friend. Soon he was a regular on craigslist whoring out his services to ladies only and it was during a session with a swinging couple and an offer of five hundred dollars that he soon turned gay for pay. he hated this memory and he hated even more how his body would betray him all these years later when he was in the shower or looking at a man such as Andrell Mickens.....
note; this is just an exercise to get me back to writing regularly. I haven't written since my Moms past and I promised myself id complete some work i started almost three years ago. I think I have stories to tell so I am going back to putting myself on a clock until i get my flow back...Wish me luck multiply
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Tonight was so interesting. A friend of mine a old skool friend stopped by the house for a favor and we got to talking. Ive known him since I was 13 or 14 that's when I actually came out the house.
We going thru some old pictures and I realized he had to be almost 50 by now he was a Lebejia back when that house was ...well lets see you had what was called "crafty" children. It was such a different world that I came up in as opposed to now.
Theres a 17 year old gay in my building and he was at the house trying to fit in and I realized three generations of the NY gay scene were in one room!
To allot of you that doesn't symbolize anything but Dee has trophy's from back in the early 8o's when their was really only three things a black or latino gay man could do. U could go to city college if your family hadn't thrown you out and you were living on the pier, you could go to jail ( how many of the kidz I came up with got shipped to Elmira CC back in the early 1990s or you could get into the ball scene.
I never got in. I didn't have the "Attitude" I was from the suburbs and didn't really aspire to pretend to be rich or crave any of that. Basically, I grew up having neighbors that had a pool, I was a cub scout and came from a two parent household,
I think when I hit the city the summer of 1989 I was a very naive. I had never heard of stonewall. I loved going to clubs, drinking and I learned to drive that summer. Also, I lied about my age so to this day people are shocked that I'm my age and still around. LOL
I so wanted to be 30 at 15 now fifteen plus years later I'm like....slow down the carousel! I wanna get off.
I was taken back, and this is the reason for me blogging this by talking to this kid tonight I remembered so many wonderful things that I had to blog.
If you say "1989" to me I see old, grey NY. I remember my first boyfriend that turned out literally to be a girl. Her name was Tee and for all accounts and purposes she looked like the cutest black guy. I use to stalk Tee. It was always T&K that's what everyone use to say. I was a virgin and so sex didn't equate in this first big romance. What happened and this is so funny. We got picked up for being minors without proper supervision. When they went to take us to juvenile the officer was named Officer Black he said. "These two freaks! I had allot of hair as a kid so i was kinda girly and she had a czar with just a tiny it of what we called back then a gumby. Come to find out he was a she!!!!
Imagine! I never knew what happened to Tee my parents came and picked me up and took me home ( I ran off again like 3 days later) But this time i met my gay mother. Her name was candy and shes in a clip from that old film "Paris Is Burning" she was a beautiful transgender and i use to run the streets allot and hang with the big ppl. But the difference then rather than now? They never introduced me to any negativity. Not like ppl today they string these kids out on crack and meth sometimes as young as 12 and I wont even discuss these pedophile ass motherfuckers.
But this drag-queen, shed be at a old bar they called Blues i believe was the name and shed be whuppin some queens ass and shed say "This my lil sissy son come to your mama" and you know I remember in my mind she was my Mom. Not that my mom was bad cause she wasn't but to have a hip mom like Candy "The body beautiful" that was her. i wonder is she alive today?
How is it different at 14 allot of older guys would be on the kentucky strip that's like 42nd street between 8 to 11th avenues it was a stroll. I remember I met this really nice looking guy ban-gee oy style, the shell tops etc, and we were hanging out hard and that drag queen didn't see me in like 3 weeks. i was living up at the Cinton Hotel with a 30 year old man.
When she caught me Ill never forget this. She said u know he old enuff to be your daddy and hes a fierce user. U need to go home. Well I wasn't a virgin no more and I let ole gay mama have it and i remember that queen slapped the shit outta me and beat me down on the corner of 42nd street and 8th ave. While I was telling that story a tear came to my eye that out of all the people in NY that queen cared about me. Damn that drag queen was whuppin my azz and the other drag queens said you better not hot yo mama back! We were a family.
I don't have brothers or sisters so when I hit the street i wanted brothers and sisters so bad. Sometimes I made disastrous choices.
She wasn't wrong either. That same guy tried to introduce me to heroin, prostitution, locked me out during the snow storm and pimped me as his son to social services 9in those days the system was easy to beat) all the while he was a drug addict with two latina whores working on Houston street. I remember that guy took me to a house in Jersey to set me up. Told me I would make a lot of money etc. I didn't really understand how that worked but in retrospect it was prostitution. Its unclear how or what happened but I remember candy bringing me back to NJ. I honestly to this day don't know the story....I wish I did
When I sit back and think how different my life could have been. So many i came up with are dead they dies of AIDS in the early 90s I mean I have literally a dead folks photo album around here somewhere. I'm still here even the ones my age are gone.
I always say "God has blessed you when you find someone that loves you for you." Unlike allot of my friends I wasn't what i would consider "Hot" i have always been a average looking person. I'm not a show off. Most people and animals I love. I wasn't "fierce" so the house thing I never got into. Tho I attended practically every ball their was in those days. i was very shy with a knack for dating mean evil old men LOL
Yet I'm here because there was someone who cared. How do you phantom with logic like that and u know its because the ppl that no one understood. They cared about you to put a roof over your head and make sure you were protected. To this I always hope that if the situation ever occurs i too can be like that!
I guess the moral of this blog is if fate should bring a younger person into your life. have patience because when we are young we know everything and allot of us will die before we know anything.
There are so many doors for str8 kids to go thru but the gay kids fall between the cracks and the so called help is many times a fox in sheep's clothing. I cant count how many old farts wanted to mentor me ( yeah right) that's why I have such a negative view of religion and religious ppl because maybe that's where whatever scars I have came from their.
I felt good typing this out. I needed to see it in print
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions:
Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.
How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.
What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.
Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
1. We're related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's mom like me.
What kind of a little girl was your mom?
1. My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.
What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background.. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?
Why did your mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that mom didn't have her thinking cap on.
Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.
What's the difference between moms and dads?
1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller and stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friends.
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.
What does your mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.
What would it take to make your mom perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.
If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.
Water or Coke?
#1. 75% of Americans are chronically dehydrated.
(Likely applies to half the world population)
#2. In 37% of Americans, the thirst mechanism is so weak that it is mistaken for hunger.
#3. Even MILD dehydration will slow down one's metabolism as 3%.
#4. One glass of water will shut down midnight hunger pangs
For almost 100% of the dieters studied in a University of Washington study.
#5. Lack of water, the #1 trigger of daytime fatigue.
#6. Preliminary research indicates that 8-10 glasses of water a day could significantly ease back and joint pain for up to 80% of sufferers.
#7. A mere 2% drop in body water can trigger fuzzy short-term memory, trouble with basic math, and difficulty focusing on the computer screen or on a printed page.
#8. Drinking 5 glasses of water daily decreases the risk of colon cancer by 45%, plus it can slash the risk of breast cancer by 79%., and one is 50% less likely to develop bladder cancer. Are you drinking the amount of water you should drink every day?
#1. In many states the highway patrol carries two gallons of Coke in the trunk to remove blood from the highway after a car accident.
#2. You can put a T-bone steak in a bowl of Coke and it will be gone in two days.
#3. To clean a toilet: Pour a can of Coca-Cola into the toilet bowl and let the 'real thing' sit for one hour, then flush clean. The citric acid in Coke removes stains from vitreous china.
#4. To remove rust spots from chrome car bumpers: rub the bumper with a rumpled-up piece of Reynolds wrap aluminum foil dipped in Coca-Cola..
#5. To clean corrosion from car battery terminals: Pour a can of Coca-Cola over the terminals to bubble away the corrosion.
#6. To loosen a rusted bolt: Apply a cloth soaked in Coca-Cola to the rusted bolt for several minutes.
#7. To bake a moist ham: Empty a can of Coca-Cola into the baking pan, wrap the ham in aluminum foil, and bake. Thirty minutes before ham is finished, remove the foil, allowing the drippings to mix with the Coke for a sumptuous brown gravy.
#8... To remove grease from clothes: Empty a can of Coke into the load of greasy clothes, add detergent, and run through a regular cycle. The Coca-Cola will help loosen grease stains. It will also clean road haze from your windshield.
FOR YOUR INFORMATION:
#1 the active ingredient in Coke is phosphoric acid..
It will dissolve a nail in about four days. Phosphoric
Acid also leaches calcium from bones and is a major
Contributor to the rising increase of osteoporosis.
#2. To carry Coca-Cola syrup! (the concentrate) the
Commercial trucks must use a hazardous Material place
Cards reserved for highly corrosive materials.
#3. The distributors of Coke have been using it to clean
Engines of the trucks for about 20 years!
Now the question is, would you like a glass of water?
A man went to the hospital in Cooktown, Queensland to have his wedding
ring cut off from his penis.
According to the nurse attending the operation, the patient's
girlfriend found the ringin his pants pocket.
She didn't know he was married and she was so mad she used
petroleum jelly to slipthe ring on his penis while he was asleep.
I don't know what's worse:
1) Having your girl friend find out you're married.
2) Explaining to your wife how your wedding ring got on your penis.
3) Finding out your penis fits through your wedding ring