Got yo back....mi gusta

Yesterday was the most fucked up day I could imagine. I lost a large sum of money and my sidekick lx and someone elses chedder to.

I was sweatin like a drunk and I called the one person who I believed had my back. My familia, a brother, even tho hes a black portugeese and im panamanian we share that black sheep bond and we both came up as La Familia as kids and teens .

This guy talked all that BS counselor shit to me and empathized and promised they had my back just meet them here la di da This Bird had me come out to East NY and was a no show.His cousin was like you sun aint show. I walked up and down New Lots avenue looking like a crack dealer cuz thats a hott block for 5 hours. Niggas thinkin im sellin and im like naw sun im just chillin aint got nothing la di da de

So I had to make it all right cuz some of the bread was not mine and their really was no one else I felt would really have my back on the $$$$ and Cents tip.

I called my girl and said " Ma I fucked up"

she was like

"what Panna? Everything?"

I was like

"Ma mutha Fuckin everything "

Then it was a dead silence.

I was walkin down Troy ave in Crown Heights just dazed

I went to my Boy and had a drink and smoked a tree got a bag on credit (shits still here too. im not a big weed head) and shit trying to get my mind right. But I couldnt figure it out. I was like damn. I couldnt cry cuz im not a cryer and I didnt want to have to throw a brick either. But my choices were getting slimmer and slimmer

I went home and layed on the couch cause ole boy had me standing waiting for him for 5 fuckin hours it was freezing and my hands the blood had gelled I couldnt even go in my pocket I was close to frostbite. fucked up I got on the #3 train i was messed up. My hands I couldnt even turn on my ipod! It took me something like 15 minutes no exagg to get my metro card outta my pocket my hands woyuldnt freakin work.

Even tho my so called best friend is Gay i have never gotten along with a lot of these gays in his circle of Brooklyn cuz they be on some mad hatin shit jealous shit. But this guy I would do anything for back when I was hustling and shit I paid this kids mortage not rent but mortage. Fought battles for him cause hes a coward and his mom sent him to South Shore High and he was like recreation 4 them kids. we have a history. Its non sexual so i always presumed it was real and would last.

Little does he know when and if i catch up wiyth him. Imma whip his ass down. I was so cold I swore on my dead mother I would fuck him up if I gotta wait till we are both 99 that is one promise that wont go unfufilled

As usual it wasnt someone from the freak zone that saved me it was my females, my chicks that came thru I mean like throughbreds. One girl took me to the ATM no questions asked and took out half of the money and was like Panna papi here I wish I could fix it all but I cant...I was like Damn I wanted to cry. With that I went to put that in the ppls hand. Glad to have something besides a alibi.

When I got to that spot my girl. My Pat ( that I always blog about) thats my girl all day, every day . Ill die 4 her no shit. She was like Kell, Panna, Jah,boo I mean she went from my Christian name to any alias she could think of. ...she just ran and hugged me and shit then slapped the shit outta my face and said "if you ever dont come to me again I LOVE you" man it was so rich.

Her man screamed on me too like telling me my Reina couldnt sleep all night she kept doing was calling my digits. She called my T mo, My Boost ( she just got me a bad ass boost phone like 3 days ago) , and my house my t mo was lost, a sidekick that gabe had just blessed me with a few months ago!

I hadnt washed up i had no socks on, I was fonky as hell just an AX shirt a pair of AX jeans (theres that brooklyn thing AX is Armani Exchange u know when a brooklyn knight tells a story they gotta tell what they was wearing LOL, I blogged about that last year right?) no freakin drawers I was so comando in the cold 2! A pair of Dolemite boots i had just bought a few weeks ago. Nose was runnin and I was out there tryin to turn 15 cents into a couple hundred dollars

When I got to this spot some of these are ppls that sell drugs and everything this girl had dipped and had a small brick 4 me in case I got caught out there I was like no, no , no ma. I had this and I did.

But my thing is, my freakijn moral to this madness all my good friends the high class, college graduates, they got thir ZBS'es in Bullshit 4 real lol cant smell their own shit Sophistacated gay african american and Latino men I know that talk a good one but cant come thru on a lil one werent there. It was my people that everybody looks down on that they warn me. Awww they aint shit they do this and that...man Life is funny

You never know where your blessing is coming from and who really got yo back when it all hits the fan trust...