WHY IS HE A HOT MESS

WHY IS HE A HOT MESS?

\

A FEW WEEKS AGO I WAS ENJOYING A DOUBLE ( YES! A DOUBLE! STOLIVANCHA MARTINI AT A LOCAL GAY BAR CALLED THE MONSTERS IN GREENWICH VILLAGE NEW YORK. WHEN THIS YOUNG BLACK JAMAICAN GUY SIDLED UP TO THE BAR BESIDE ME/ "OH GOD THIS FAGGOT IS GONNA HIT ON ME" WAS MY FIRST THOUGHT.

OF COURSE I SHOULDN'T HAVE FLATTERED MYSELF! HE INTRODUCED HIS SELF AS DAMIEN AND TOLD ME HE WAS A COMMUNICATIONS MAJOR. I TOLD HIM THAT WAS GREAT THEN HE STROKED MY EGO HE SAID " I READ THE EZINE TRUE URBAN HAVOC. WELL OF COURSE I PERKED RIGHT UP! WE'VE BEEN PUTTING OUT THE EZINE GOING ON 7 YEARS NOW AND JUST RECENTLY EMERGED FROM A HIATUS AND WERE DESPERATELY TRYING TO GET OUR NEWS, THOUGHTS AND VIEWS OUT THERE AGAIN TO OUR READERS.

HE THEN ASKED "WHY DID YOU GUYS STOP. DEFENSIVELY I TOLD HIM "WE DIDN'T STOP WE ARE ON A HIATUS" HE GRUNTED...THE LIL BASTARD GRUNTED! HE THEN SAID ( AS ONLY A AFRICAN AMERICAN VIA KINGSTON JAMAICA) SHADILY "WELL IT MUST BE A LONG HIATUS ...I THEN REPLIED "IF MORE PEOPLE CONTRIBUTED WE WOULDN'T HAVE THESE HIATUSES.

i LOVE MY BROTHERS BECAUSE HE ASK`ED "COULD I DO THE FASHION SECTION? I WANTED TO CRY SO WELCOME OUR NEWEST MEMBER TO THE TRUE URBANE HAVOC E ZINE FAMILY! DAMIEN HIS FIRST ARTICLE WILL APPEAR THIS FRIDAY AND THE BOI CAN DRESS. HES 19 YEARS OLD AND I REALLY ENJOY OUR TIME VIA MAIL WORKING ON THE EZINE. HE JOINS...JAWAN PERRY, FROM NEW PORT NEWS VIRGINIA, MAJ FROM TUNISA ( OUR PHOTOGRAPHER HES BREATHTAKING!) SADIQ B. MUHAMMAD FROM BED STY BROOKLYN, AND H JOHNSON FROM NASSAU COUNTY NY. I'M HAPPY THAT THE EZINE IS STILL GOING DEALING WITH ISSUES THAT AFFECT OUR LIVES ALONG WITH OUR NEW SECTION "BLOG OF THE DAY AND ALL THOSE GREAT NAKED PICTURES ( I HAVE GROWN SO IMMUNE TO THEM SADLY.SO DAMIEN IS OUR DEFINITION OF A HOT MESS...IF YOU AVE HUNG OUT WITH A GAY JAMAICAN YOU KNOW WHY!!! WELCOME AND OF COURSE ALL MY MULTIPLY FAMILY IS WELCOMED TO SUBSCRIBE ITS FREE. IT IS ADULT ORIENTATED DUE TO THE NUDE MODELS AND EROTIC STORY MATTER. BUT HEY....ITS FREE... IF YOUD LIKE AN ISSUE SIMPLY SEND AN EMAIL TO TUHAVOCEZINE2AOL.COM AND PUT FREE SUBSCRIBE IN THE SUBJECT BOX...THATS ALL...

i should have seen it coming

You never really know whats enough till youve had more than enough

At madame tussants wax museum 42nd street NYC

going to met my boo

G is coming home to see whats going on Im headed to the airport and then the city for 5 hours were gonna hang then back to canada for him....This is weird and it sucks a little but its fun.

Im headed to the hair spot to get my hair laced and imma pick up some straight leg jeans to go with my Tims. I bought some nice fake armani glasses i hope i look good ...if not oh well

Hanging with my friends

Tonight we all got together and hung out. My friend ( lowell) and (chino) . They live in the Bronx and mannoreck ( probbly speklled wrong) So they had to travel that was kewl. Cause I been really bored here by myself. We saw this guy at the club that does an imitation of James Brown and Billie Holiday..this was a str8 club 2 it was all good.. I must hang with my ppls more often.

exercise, diet and other unhealthy shit but it worked 4 me

Do you know how hard it is to try and get a flat stomach and no bulge on the sides...do u know?

I was reading Bruh luvas blog like a few months ago and I remembered this brother who actually taught me the perfect way to have a flat stomach.

Bruh said share or blog about it and I was hesitant cause its the most unhealthy way to lose weight in the world.

I wasn't fat I'm a 29 inch waist but somehow i shot up and had no clothes to wear and being poor I had no choice but to lose the damn weight plus I wanted a flat as hell stomach fuck the 6 pack shit I just wanted it flat. With all the hot belts and buckles out and low riding jeans I felt it was my damn duty LOL

Well my friend came by and photographed the results of my exercise and diet regime and I went to a lil thug hipster club tonight and from the response I fitted in LOL. such a shallow victory

the diet is just eat fish and salad a lot for breakfast and eat no more till the wee hours walk like 3 miles every other day and it goes away in about three weeks worked for me. Drink alot of waters and take vitamins.

That was my diet! it worked! But I don't think a doctor will agree...oh well

dear God Humour 2

Perils of a catholic upbringing (humour)

from our ezine club...

Perils of a Catholic Upbringing

As I walked down the busy sidewalk, knowing I was late for Mass, my eye fell upon one of those unfortunate, homeless vagabonds that are found in every city these days.



Some people turned to stare. Others quickly looked away as if the sight would somehow contaminate them.



Recalling my old pastor, Father Mike, who always admonished me to 'care for the sick, feed the hungry and clothe the naked,' I was moved by some powerful inner urge to reach out to this unfortunate person.



Wearing what can only be described as rags, carrying every worldly possession in two plastic bags, my heart was touched by this person's condition.



Yes, where some people saw only rags, I saw a true, hidden beauty.



A small voice inside my head called out, 'Reach out, reach out and touch this person!'

So I did.......




PS: I won't be at Mass this week!

our email humour club (alost 9 years old now) is always looking for new members to join and participate. This is an adult ezine which has adult humour and partial to sometimes complete nudity along with blogs of the day. fashion tips, and editorials from diffrent sources.

If you wish to subscribe send an email to tuhavocezine@aol.com and put in the subject line subscribe"

ALREADY I MISS MY SIDEKICK

I miss it i miss it...i blog more and stuff on it then this computer. Oh well...ll be ok... I got a boost 50 bucks a month big deal I havent even turned it on :(

I am too careless i gotta start being more careful or something.

gabe aint even going to wantto hear I lost this one or its gone or whatever...

maybe i get one cheap on craigslist

bank crisis in terms in terms i can understand

Bank Crisis in Terms I Can Understand

The financial crisis explained in simple terms.............................

Heidi is the proprietor of a bar in Berlin . In order to increase sales, she decides to allow her loyal customers - most of whom are unemployed alcoholics - to drink now but pay later. She keeps track of the drinks consumed on a ledger (thereby granting the customers loans).

Word gets around and as a result increasing numbers of customers flood into Heidi's bar.

Taking advantage of her customers' freedom from immediate payment constraints, Heidi increases her prices for wine and beer, the most-consumed beverages. Her sales volume increases massively.

A young and dynamic customer service consultant at the local bank recognizes these customer debts as valuable future assets and increases Heidi's borrowing limit.

He sees no reason for undue concern since he has the debts of the alcoholics as collateral.

At the bank's corporate headquarters, expert bankers transform these customer assets into DRINKBONDS, ALKBONDS and PUKEBONDS. These securities are then traded on markets worldwide. No one really understands what these abbreviations mean and how the securities are guaranteed. Nevertheless, as their prices continuously climb, the securities become top-selling items.

One day, although the prices are still climbing, a risk manager (subsequently of course fired due his negativity) of the bank decides that slowly the time has come to demand payment of the debts incurred by the drinkers at Heidi's bar.

However they cannot pay back the debts.

Heidi cannot fulfill her loan obligations and claims bankruptcy.

DRINKBOND and ALKBOND drop in price by 95 %. PUKEBOND performs better, stabilizing in price after dropping by 80 %.

The suppliers of Heidi's bar, having granted her generous payment due dates and having invested in the securities are faced with a new situation. Her wine supplier claims bankruptcy, her beer supplier is taken over by a competitor.

The bank is saved by the Government following dramatic round-the-clock consultations by leaders from the governing political parties.

The funds required for this purpose are obtained by a tax levied on the non-drinkers.

Finally an explanation I understand...

dear god (humour)

Socks, the Clintons white House cat dies

From Tommy:

My tuxedo cat was also named Socks, I named her after Socks Clinton. She was an abandoned feral kitten, whom I rescued, weaned and had difficulty training due to her "wild child" feral nature. With lots of attentive training by me she gradually came around and lived ten years before she developed painful tumors, probably cancer, and had to be euthanized. She retained a "wild child" side to her personality for her whole life. May Socks and Socks rest in peace. -Tommy

President Clinton and Socks

Socks, the Clintons' White House cat, dies

From Charlie..nice video

Anthem - Gay Marriage - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ie22obYO2i8

El Cachao (from my friend carlos)

Israel “Cachao” López was born in Havana, Cuba, in September 14, 1918 and died in March 22, 2008.
He was known as “Cachao”. A Cuban mambo musician, bassist and composer, he helped bring mambo music to popularity in the United States in the 1950s.

In his last years he became the most important living figure in Cuban music. He was regarded as the most important bassist in twentieth-century popular music. He innovated the Cuban music and influenced the now familiar bass lines of American R&B.

El Cachao has a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, won several Grammy Awards and has been described as “the inventor of the mambo”. He is also considered a master of descarga (Latin jam sessions).

The name Cachao is “La Mata”, “The Tree”, from this tree rooted in the deepest traditions of Cuban music everything in modern Cuban music, music known to many as Salsa stems.

Cachao left Cuba in 1962. First he spent two years in Spain and then came to New York City. There he performed with mambo bands led by Tito Rodríguez, José Fajardo and Eddie Palmieri. For decades, he worked almost entirely as a sideman.
Then, he moved to Las Vegas and then to Miami. Cachao made only three albums as a leader between 1970 and 1990.

In 1990, Andy García, who is a longtime fan of Cachao’s music, organized recording sessions with leading Cuban musicians and a tribute concert for Cachao in Miami: “Master Sessions Volume 1” and “Master Sessions Volume 2”.

Afterwards, Andy García produced two more albums for Cachao, “Cuba Linda” (2000) and the Grammy-winning “Ahora sí” (2004)

“He leaves with us a legacy of extraordinary trendsetting music, and an unequaled example of humanity, that was a gift to all of us, who had the good fortune and honor to experience.”
Andy García

With renewed recognition, Cachao spent the 1990’s and 2000’s touring and recording worldwide and collecting awards.

There are two main documentaries about El Cachao, “Cachao, Como Su Ritmo No Hay Dos” and was released in the 1990’s and “Cachao: Uno Más” which will be released in April of 2008.

“I consider our collaboration and friendship one of most important accomplishments of my life. Cachao is our musical father. He is revered by all who have come in contact with him and his music and is referred to simply as El Maestro. He has been honored around the world and has his rightful place in the Smithsonian Institute.”
Andy García

Needless to say, Andy García is a proud member of the Cachao Orchestra.

el amor es azul which means,.....Love is blue (i did a rough english translation also)

from my Nanas poetry

El amor es azul y qual cascada
De insortijadas aguas
Vuelca sulinfa en el
Abismo oscuro
Invade el corazon
Refresca el alma.

here is a rough translation

Love is Blue and cascades
rings of water
dark abyss
invades my heart
refreshes my soul.

i miss you Gabe :)

See that big gal move!

Got yo back....mi gusta

Yesterday was the most fucked up day I could imagine. I lost a large sum of money and my sidekick lx and someone elses chedder to.

I was sweatin like a drunk and I called the one person who I believed had my back. My familia, a brother, even tho hes a black portugeese and im panamanian we share that black sheep bond and we both came up as La Familia as kids and teens .

This guy talked all that BS counselor shit to me and empathized and promised they had my back just meet them here la di da This Bird had me come out to East NY and was a no show.His cousin was like you sun aint show. I walked up and down New Lots avenue looking like a crack dealer cuz thats a hott block for 5 hours. Niggas thinkin im sellin and im like naw sun im just chillin aint got nothing la di da de

So I had to make it all right cuz some of the bread was not mine and their really was no one else I felt would really have my back on the $$$$ and Cents tip.

I called my girl and said " Ma I fucked up"

she was like

"what Panna? Everything?"

I was like

"Ma mutha Fuckin everything "

Then it was a dead silence.

I was walkin down Troy ave in Crown Heights just dazed

I went to my Boy and had a drink and smoked a tree got a bag on credit (shits still here too. im not a big weed head) and shit trying to get my mind right. But I couldnt figure it out. I was like damn. I couldnt cry cuz im not a cryer and I didnt want to have to throw a brick either. But my choices were getting slimmer and slimmer

I went home and layed on the couch cause ole boy had me standing waiting for him for 5 fuckin hours it was freezing and my hands the blood had gelled I couldnt even go in my pocket I was close to frostbite. fucked up I got on the #3 train i was messed up. My hands I couldnt even turn on my ipod! It took me something like 15 minutes no exagg to get my metro card outta my pocket my hands woyuldnt freakin work.

Even tho my so called best friend is Gay i have never gotten along with a lot of these gays in his circle of Brooklyn cuz they be on some mad hatin shit jealous shit. But this guy I would do anything for back when I was hustling and shit I paid this kids mortage not rent but mortage. Fought battles for him cause hes a coward and his mom sent him to South Shore High and he was like recreation 4 them kids. we have a history. Its non sexual so i always presumed it was real and would last.

Little does he know when and if i catch up wiyth him. Imma whip his ass down. I was so cold I swore on my dead mother I would fuck him up if I gotta wait till we are both 99 that is one promise that wont go unfufilled

As usual it wasnt someone from the freak zone that saved me it was my females, my chicks that came thru I mean like throughbreds. One girl took me to the ATM no questions asked and took out half of the money and was like Panna papi here I wish I could fix it all but I cant...I was like Damn I wanted to cry. With that I went to put that in the ppls hand. Glad to have something besides a alibi.

When I got to that spot my girl. My Pat ( that I always blog about) thats my girl all day, every day . Ill die 4 her no shit. She was like Kell, Panna, Jah,boo I mean she went from my Christian name to any alias she could think of. ...she just ran and hugged me and shit then slapped the shit outta my face and said "if you ever dont come to me again I LOVE you" man it was so rich.

Her man screamed on me too like telling me my Reina couldnt sleep all night she kept doing was calling my digits. She called my T mo, My Boost ( she just got me a bad ass boost phone like 3 days ago) , and my house my t mo was lost, a sidekick that gabe had just blessed me with a few months ago!

I hadnt washed up i had no socks on, I was fonky as hell just an AX shirt a pair of AX jeans (theres that brooklyn thing AX is Armani Exchange u know when a brooklyn knight tells a story they gotta tell what they was wearing LOL, I blogged about that last year right?) no freakin drawers I was so comando in the cold 2! A pair of Dolemite boots i had just bought a few weeks ago. Nose was runnin and I was out there tryin to turn 15 cents into a couple hundred dollars

When I got to this spot some of these are ppls that sell drugs and everything this girl had dipped and had a small brick 4 me in case I got caught out there I was like no, no , no ma. I had this and I did.

But my thing is, my freakijn moral to this madness all my good friends the high class, college graduates, they got thir ZBS'es in Bullshit 4 real lol cant smell their own shit Sophistacated gay african american and Latino men I know that talk a good one but cant come thru on a lil one werent there. It was my people that everybody looks down on that they warn me. Awww they aint shit they do this and that...man Life is funny

You never know where your blessing is coming from and who really got yo back when it all hits the fan trust...

anti bird strike system for airplanes! (humour)

RESPECT TO MI HOMBRE "panama da spanish kid"

I have never blogged about the latin artists i be feelin mainly because at Multiply I dont have any latino or Panamanian online buddies like i do on my MySpAcE page which is the way I likeit really cuz multiply I share with mostly one side of me and MySpAcE i share with the other side of mi..But Today I got to share Panama cuz he is the best panamanian rapper since his highness EL GENERAL who OI live for to this day " He is el numero uno to blatino panamanian hombres everywhere trust bless...

with my signigent other being a DJ we sometimes get to go to some bomb azz parties and ashowcases. It was at one such place ( the new China Club) that we first met Da Spanish kid... Alot of you may or may not realize we look like reg black folks LOL. except maybe sometimes the hair

can he hip hop yes...and hes down old city friendly and cute too! I was mouth wired shut at Bobby Valentinos listening party cuz I actually got to say hello to Wendy williams shes a big one too but mad nice and i coulkdnt get close to Bobby Valentino and you know he was like hot last year.

I did get da spanish kid to sign a shirt that honors Lupe Fiasco and my CD

FROM THE GOOD OLE DAYZ.....BOOTY CALL AGREEMENT? Got this from mi reina Mz. Panama

Booty Call Agreement THE BOOTY CALL AGREEMENT This Booty Call Agreement (hereinafter referred to as the "Agreement") is entered into on the _____ day of__________, 2005, by_______________________ , between __________________ and _________________. THIS AGREEMENT SHALL COVER THE FOLLOWING RULES AND PRINCIPLES: 1. No sleeping over -- unless it is VERY good and we need to repeat it in the morning. 2 No meeting in public except for dinner or drinks before the events of the evening. 3. No calls before 8 PM--we really don't have shit to talk about. 4. None of that "lovemaking" shit--only mind-blowing sex allowed. 5. No plans made in advance -- that is why you are called the "backup", unless you are from out-of-town, then it's only a one-time advanced arrangement. 6. All gifts accepted--money is always good.. 7. No calling each other "friends with benefits" -- we are not friends, just sex buddies. 8. No extra clothing -- I don't want your ass leaving anything behind when you leave. 9. No falling asleep right after sex -- it's over, so get your ass up and go home. 10. If anyone asks who you are, the standard response will be: "My roommate's boyfriend/girlfriend." 11.Reason for doggie style: the less eye contact the better. I don't want to look at you, just fuck you. 12.We hook up absolutely whenever the mood strikes ME -- so don't keep calling. 13. The most important one -- not clean, no fucking. Carry your ass home. 14.Bring your own drink -- I am not your liquor store. 15. No phone use, please -- don't want anyone calling back looking for your ass. Rules may only be altered by the holder of the agreement. If the other party attempts to change or alter any terms of this agreement, it will automatically be deemed null and void and you will then be removed from the BOOTY CALL LIST, deleted from phone memory and email list BLOCKED from all communications. Signature:____________________________ Date:________

2009 Tax code ( adult humour)

2009 Tax Code

The only thing that the IRS has not taxed yet is the male penis. This is due to the fact that 69% of the time it is hanging around unemployed, 10% of the time it is hard up, 20% of the time it is pissed off and 1% of the time it is in the hole. On top of that, it has two dependents and they are both nuts! HOWEVER, effective January 1st, 2009, the penis will now be taxed according to size: The brackets are as follows: 10" - 12" Luxury Tax $ 300.00 8" - 10" Pole Tax $ 250.00 5" - 8" Privilege Tax $ 150.00 3" - 5" Nuisance Tax $ 30.00 Males exceeding 12" must file capital gains. Anyone under 3" is eligible for a tax refund. ** PLEASE DO NOT ASK FOR AN EXTENSION **

I FOUND THE SONG!!!!! LOLLIPOP LOVE BY BRYAN LOREN FINALLY!!!!

I KNEW IT WAS A KID WHO SUNG THIS SONG! CAUSE WE WERE ALL KIDS AND HE WAS FROM SOMEWHERE ON THE ISLAND ( I GREW UP IN NASSAU COUNTY, LONG ISLAND BUT WAS BORN IN BROIOKLYN BY MISTAKE LOL BUT THEY ALWAYS SUNG IT (THE LITTLE CHANT PART ON THE PLAYGROUND ) AND IT WAS KINDA POPULAR IN 84 AND i SEARCHED AND SEARCHED AND I FOUND A GREAT SITE WHICH IM SHARING THE LINK TOO. http://www.onehitwondercentral.com

YOU CAN FIND ALL THE STUFF ON THEIR. THE SONG I HAD TO RECORD WITH MY MP3 PLAYER I CANT FIND IT ON RHAPSODY OR HARDLY NO WHERES BUT HE DOES HAVE A MYSPACE PAGE...I CAN NOW DIE I CANT THINK OF A SINGLE OTHER SONG I CAN LOOK FOR! OH YES I CAN THIS SINGER NAMED RAMONA BROOKS SHES MY NEXT SEARCH I HOPE IT DOESNT TAKE ME 10 YEARS LIKE THIS ONE DAMN! I HAD A OLD 45 RECORD THAT SOMEONE HAD THROWN AWAY AND I PICKED IT OUT THE TRASH ( YEAGH AS A KID I WAS ALWAYS IN SOMEBODYS DAMN TRASH TAKIN SHIT AND MY MOM WOULD WHIP ME AND SAY " THEY GONNA THINK WERE DAMN POOR OR SPOMETHING" HELL WE WAS ITO THE BESYT OIF MY KNOWLEDGE ALL THE MONEYU I MEAN ALLLLLL MY PARENTS MONEY WENT INTO LIVING IN LONG ISLAND AND HAVING THAT HOUSE AND STUFF. bryan loren IS THE ARTIST!

b. Long Island, New York, U.S.A.

Bryan Loren is a multi-instrumentalist / songwriter / recording artist / producer. His smooth mid-tempo debut single 'Lollipop Luv' was a Top 30 R & B hit in 1984.

Loren, whose production and songwriting credits range from Vesta Williams, Eric Benet (as one half of the brother-sister Benet), Michael Jackson ('Dangerous'), Barry White ('Right Night' & 'Barry White'), Sting ('Nothing Like the Sun'), and Fox-TV's 'The Simpsons', is a multi-talent to be reckoned with.

The Long Island, New York, native was signed to Philadelphia's Philly World Records with Nick Martinelli (Loose Ends, Phyllis Hyman, Regina Belle, Stephanie Mills) handling the production chores for his debut LP, 'Bryan Loren', issued in June 1984.

The first single on the Atlantic Records-distributed label 'Lollipop Luv' made it to number 23 R & B on Billboard's charts in spring 1984.

It's included on 'The Best of Philly World Records'.

The follow-up, the mellow and funky 'Do You Really Love Me' charted number 68 R & B in summer 1984.

Though Loren's later productions on various artists were often energetic and sometimes very funky, Bryan Loren was quite laid back.

The LP and the 12 inch and Seven inch singles, including the third single 'Easier Said Than Done' b/w 'For Tonight,' have become collectables.

Loren also wrote and produced hits for Vesta Williams ('Something About You,' 'Don't Blow a Good Thing'), Shanice Wilson ('[Baby Tell Me] Can You Dance'), and 'Do the Bartman' from the 1991 two-million-selling TV soundtrack from Fox-TV's 'The Simpsons', 'The Simpsons Sing the Blues'.

Some of his other credits include 'Wait for Me' not to be confused with the Slave hit from the 1990 self-titled MCA album by former Sugar Babes Stacy and Kymoko and the adventurous solo debut of Mic Murphy of the System ('Don't Disturb This Groove') on East West.

Loren made one more LP, 'Music for the New World', issued by Arista in 1992.

Loren-related 1999 releases are the self-titled A&M album from Johnson & Branson and former Three Dog Night member Chuck Negron's Hip-O CD 'Long Way Back'.

Albums:

Bryan Loren (Philly World 1984)

Music for the New World (Arista 1992)

i love rickey smileys prank calls