IF I KEEP SITTING HERE AT WORK PLAYING THIS IS WHAT THE UNEMPLOYMENT CLERK WILL BE SAYING TO MY AZZ
ENTERTAINERS, ENTERTAINMENT, PAST AND PRESENT. REVOLUTIONISTS AND LUMINARES THAT HAVE GRACED THE STAGE AND SCREEN AND TOUCHED MANY A HEART HUMOUR THAT BRINGS A SMILE AND SONGS THAT WILL MAKE YOU DANCE, LAUGH OR CRY. THESE ARE ALL A PART OF WHO I AM AND WHO I WISH TO CONVEY THROUGH EACH AND EVERY PODCAST AND WRITTTEN WORD.....ENJOY...WELCOME TO MY WORLD
I like Fall its a good reason to eat squash.
I think its crappy what The pilgrims did to the Indians. Just goes to show give a dog a bone he will bite your damn hand off every time. Give em dope and u can basically screw them
I think USA is the only country that celebrates stealing the land up from under somebody. Weird when you think about it. I wonder if opium was in the peace pipe? If so, No wonder the native Americans lost their land. High as damn hell.
When you really think about it. Were all just here and we go to bed and we wake up and if we dont do something really spectacular 50 years after our death were forgotten.
Who would have remembered Einstein if not for his brillance? Theory Of damn relativity....
But, If we do something spectacular we are still dead. I think its important to at least try to do something that will help people the next generation. Thats why I like writers and I like to write and read. Especially really old books.
I read F. Scott Fitzgearald this summer. The Great gatsby. That was some hard reading cause it was like a period piece. I was suppose to read 12 books this summer i read 6. Not bad
A lot of my friends say they want to be rich or something lame like that. Meanwhile they cant manage their own finances so do they want to be rich so to be larger consumers?
Thats all some people on this earth do. They consume
they consume
space
air
food
and contribute nothing. Not even in the simplest way. Like saying good morning to a stranger.
These people are useless.
I tell myself when Im feeling down. Their are many people that feel worse.
you have
a
job
you have a
car
you have a
home
ironically, i have never seen a u haul following a hearse
Has anyone seen this?
I visted a museum. Lennys parents get free tickets everywhere if there are no cute guys or girls involved I get the tickets LOL The Egyptians believed that they could take it with them the pharoahs and richer persons of those times. Building these elaborate pyraminds which I have to admit strike me with awe but the reason they built them was kinda dumb to me. So rich people have always been rather silly. Grave robbers took everything.
USA Museums were sort of robbers before they put those international laws in place it was finders keepers. thats why the New York Museum aquired all those beautiful artifacts. I took picture s of my museum trip I think Ill go again next month.... Its the most relaxing thing you can do.
If you go the first of the month you can buy wine and sip and look at all the beautiful art. Exhibits. Its called First Night
Now I will go to bed
| Hi ! I had fun in reading this, and wanted to share : PRE - RELATIONSHIP AGREEMENT The party of the first part (herein referred to as "He"), being of sound mind and pretty good body, agrees to the following with the party of the second part (herein referred to as "He"): 1. FULL DISCLOSURE 1.1 At the commencement of said relationship (colloquially referred to as the "first date"), each party agrees to fully disclose any: (1) current boyfriends; (2) dependent children; (3) bizarre religious beliefs; (4) phobias and fears; (5) social diseases; (6) strange political affiliations; or (7) currently active relationships with anyone else that have not yet been terminated. 1.2 Further, each party agrees to make known any deep-seated complexes and/or fanatical obsessions with pets, careers, and/or organized sports. 1.3 Failure to make the disclosures in this clause will result in the immediate termination of said relationship before it has a chance to get anywhere. 2. INDEMNIFICATION OF FRIENDS 2.1 Both parties agree to hold the person who arranged the liaison (the "matchmaker" ) blameless in the event that the "fix-up" turns out to be a "real loser" or" psycho". (For definition of "real loser", see Elliott Spitzer, or Bobby Brown.) 3.DEFINITION OF RELATIONSHIP 3.1 Should said relationship proceed past the first date, both parties mutually agree to use the following terminology in describing their said "dating": (1) For the first thirty (30) days, both parties consent to say they are "going out". (This neither implies nor states any guarantee of exclusivity. ); (2) Following the first thirty (30) days, both parties may say they are "seeing somebody" and may be referred to by third parties as "an item"; (3) Sixty (60) days following the commencement of the first date, either member may elect to use the terms "boyfriend" or "lover" and their mutual acquaintances may refer to them as "a couple". 3.2 Under no circumstances are the phrases "my better half," "my boo", "the old ball and chain," or "my old man" acceptable. 3.3 If both parties consent, this timetable may be sped up PROVIDED THAT if either party "gets too serious" and disregards this schedule, the other party may dissolve the relationship on the grounds of "moving too fast" and may once again be said to be "on the market." 4. TERMS OF EXCLUSIVITY 4.1 For the first thirty (30) days, both parties agree not to ask questions about the other party's whereabouts on weekends, weeknights, or over long holiday periods. No unreasonable demands or expectations will be made; "rights" or "holds" on the other party's time. 4.2 Following the first six weeks or forty-five (45) days, if one party continues to be "missing in action" the "wounded party" agrees to "give up". 5. DATING ETIQUETTE 5.1 For the first thirty (30) days, both parties agree:
5.2 Further, during the first six- (6) weeks each member of said relationship agrees to attempt one spontaneous home-cooked meal or to arrange the delivery of at least one unexpected bouquet of flowers. 5.3 Following the first forty-five (45) days, both parties will return to their normal personalities. 5.4 Either party must not insist that the other stop at a particular ATM en route (while on a date) so that they would save the $1-2 fee for using another ATM other than his own bank. This is viewed as cheap and could possibly pass over into areas of the relationship which a person of good upbringing is unaccustomed to and will quickly tire of. 6. TERMS OF PAYMENT 6.1 It is agreed that, respective gross income aside, "Both" will pick up the tab at all dinners, clubs, theatres, and breakfasts for the first month unless mutually agreed upon before said activity. 6.2 This clause does not apply to meals ordered from the bedroom, which are subject to the availability of discretionary funds on hand at the time. 7. LIVING ARRANGEMENTS (Occasionally known as the "Why do I bother to keep my own place?" codicil) 7.1 Should said relationship progress to the point where the couple spends more than four nights a week together, every effort shall be made to split the time between their respective apartments. 7.2 Further, it is agreed that both parties will attempt to silence the lewd remarks of landlords, or roommates. 7.3 Both parties will avoid having their mothers call at 7:30AM in the morning. 7.4 He agrees to "pick up after himself" while in residence at other’s apartment, including washing his whiskers out of the sink and assisting with household duties. 7.5 Each reserves the right to respect the others choice to keep his apartment "a mess". This clause is void if vermin or unsanitary filth is present. 7.6 Loud snoring, farting in bed, refusing to brush ones teeth before bed or first thing in the morning, is cause for termination of relationship. If a medical condition exist that causes said conduct, the guilty party agrees to immediately seek medical help until condition improves. 8. THE 90-DAY GRACE PERIOD 8.1 For the first three months, each member of the couple agrees to hold the other blameless in the euphoric use of phrases like "Let's move in together," "Why don't we start a family?" and using archaic terminology- "Let's get married." 9. THE "L" WORD 9.1 For the first sixty (60) days, both parties agree not to use the phrase "I love you." 9.2 Without limiting the generality of clause 9.1 and to remove any doubt, the parties are permitted to love plants, dogs, cats, cars, concerts, or the way a particular pair of jeans fits, but are not permitted to state that they love each other. 9.3 Failure by one party to abide by this clause will result in the other party using the "G" word... "Gone." 10. TERMINATION 10.1 Any of the following will be grounds for immediate termination and final dissolution of said relationship:
|
The one time I will never forget is when we cut school and hung out all day in East Meadow and we passed the Fashion Fair counter and U told the lady you could use a make over. I freaked and was soooo embarassed! They hooked u up and turned u from my cool football playa friend to a nelly looking sissy and all the women were covering their kids eyes . I wouldn't even walk next to you. I walked on the other side of the mall!!! and the lady in the pharmacy told me u would burn in hell 4 being like that and I told her to fuck herself You asked her how did she know their was even a hell. Its hard to pull that type of talk off looking like Halloween in September! That old bitch was so scared she flew out the store lol. We were so tight back then. Finding ourselves. Do you remember when our mothers were so fed up they were going to turn us over to the courts for being I forgot the word but they couldn't handle us and my Dad was like let them be boys and leave em be! He thought Gay was a phase my dad was so cool right?
I hate u caught HIV and that you died because your body got weak.When you were in the hospital and couldn't think to well. I use to come their with Kevin and wed wash you and stuff. In a way I am so glad you weren't left here to suffer. But a miracle would have been more welcomed. I told u we have to use condoms when you have sex and stuff thats the only way to live and u just were hard headed.If you were here id kick your ass. Leavin us and all. I know you didnt think it could ever happen. Sometimes when I'm not thinking I don't believe it can happen but it does to so many of the old gang. Even the females you know get it. But we keep your picture this
is it. Its on the end table in the living room. and your mother gave me your navy picture. She misses you as today makes it 3 long years without my Paul. God blessed us with time to know each other and be friends. Do you remember how you would keep those old pervs off me in Greenwich Village and not let me try reefer. No one would even sell me one! I finally got to try one when I was in California it wasn't all that. I just laughed my ass off and was hungry. I never tole you that when you were alive. If I had a brother you would have been him!
and how u hated Tee You hated ol boy. I don't know what happened to him either. People say he may be dead too. They say that about everyone. new Yorkers aint shit! Disappear or move with no forwarding address and you die. hateful asses they are! No one ever just says " I haven't heard from them" its always " i heard they were dead!" GO FIGURE LOL. Your big 6ft 1 ass was to big to be so soft and kind. Cordell graduated from Ohio State finally. I think he went to college on a partial scholarship. His mother has Alzheimer's now Miss Blossie, and the sad part is his brother takes care of her but is addicted to drugs. Nana passed too she passed April 2008. The people were mad they kept saying Miss nana is in heaven but nana told me that when you die you go to a grave and your there and your thoughts die with you and your gone from earth. She said she never read one place in the Bible that says when you die you go to heaven or hell. She said your dead till judgement day. She said people make that crap up and just say it to make the grieving feel better. She said if that was the case when jesus raised Lazarus Lazarus would have knocked Jesus out. Imagine being dead in heaven and someone brings you back to this. That nana was smart. I miss her!. I miss her so much if you were here you'd understand better than anybody else. We always understood each other. Never even fell out that I can remember. I remember when my Mom told your Mom "Aint no way you can stop someone from being gay. if you stop loving your son you aint never loved him. That your faggot so you better love him cuz if god takes em your gonna be miserable. She sure was right. But your always be my ace.Even if now your just a terrific memory. Death sucks its just another thing put upon us to make our life on earth shitty. Ill write you again next year
REST in PEACE , your friend Kells aka lil Jah,Gabriel,Keithen.Sonia, shawn & Gomez we all miss you (but me mostest) They all say Hi! Deion sent this song to me so I'm putting it in here its cool sums it all up perfect like
I thought I had nothing to blog about but..This is my therpy
My best friend has gone back to church and got a new boy friend. Gomez is my best friend in the whole world. Years ago I would even fight for him cause he was like a sissy back then couldn't fight well. I said to him. Thats good. If your not cool with hanging out heavy anymore feel free to just let me know it doesn't affect our friendship or anything but I don't want to be in the way of your spiritual development (i meant it too) cause sometimes, people can be a hindrance even good friends.Thats a reality that as a friend you have to accept that sometimes peoples lifestyle change. BUT, he was given the chance to tell me!
He said no. But, my oldest friendship is changing. But I wanted him to just be real and tell me not just go to acting all weird. Like a Terry McMillan novel...Disappearing Acts...
Now, hes worried the person hes dating is married and one day when the guy decides to have kids the guy will go and hell be in pain. I said to him "Just enjoy it while you have it" I mean im no authority on this and I personally care to much about my feelings to date a DL married guy cuz I just don't wanna taste any-ones wife or lover when I kiss or sleep with them. That may sound corny but hell if I care. My ego is healthy enough to want my own. Never cared for others not to say I didn't do it years ago but I felt like crap plus I just cant face a person If I know I did something like that. being fake is too much effort for me.
ANYWAY, but I just want to be there if it goes any way that makes him unhappy. He is such a good person. Thats my oldest friend. This thoughts bums me. My nana would have said "just be there" Thats what I will do.
But I have to admit, Even when I was just dating, even when I was a teenager I always made time for my friends. No I didn't hang as much but I always callled, sent an email or something! Even now I incorporate my friends into my life? So whats the problem. Desperation is a ugly bitch and no one I know wears it well!
And not because the persons I was dating were boring or unattractive. Tho I dated some plain looking folks but I dated a lot of really good looking if somewhat boring otherwise people. I just figured if it was not gonna work with me hanging over them like a damn fox-head on a church lady's shoulder aint gonna change that! Now even tho I'm with somebody I always divide my time and call, visit or go to the mall. Most of my friends just get into who their with and isolate themselves.IU mean they disappear! Wont even answer a phone! Then call three days later to tell me "They were in session???" Jesus help me. If i was but 10 years younger Id slap some of my friends. They are so corny sometimes
BUT, Then when it goes south. They call. Crap, half the time I be like WTF??? That pisses me off. I feel funny behind this sort of angry but evil too. Like Oh motherfucker desperate ass now u wanna HOLLA! I hate that feeling but I feel it. Granted I respect the honeymoon period six months but jeez after that HELLO? The world is still here! You are like using up a slot on my faves that im getting ready to change....but quick!
Like you never went with someone B4 life doesn't just change that fast. I don't like when my single friends start to date and go to acting crazy. I say ok, a week or two but after that get back with your circle. We are no longer 21....I have to think about this maybe the person really is that hott but I saw the picture and they went out with the wife and him and a beard! (that's a girl a hag that's in on the secret) I just said hummm, maybe my tone made them mad? Like I didn't approve.
But, I don't have this with my heterosexual friends! Its just the Homosexual ones. Weird
Since i feel evil anyway.
Another friend is dating someone from a rehab program. I didn't say anything negative I just listened. I so didn't want to hear about how its so different dating someone clean than someone who is on drugs or whatever. All summer I listened! I never even got a chance to talk and when I did. They interrupt me and go back to their life. That pissed me off.
But now this may be my fault. I don't wanna hear every meeting and a blow by blow description of your bizzness. But I punked up and should have said that but, they are recovering too and I just don't wanna say the wrong thing. He said they confess everything in group. But I think they feel that I wont vist because of their confessions of drug use. I admit I did say i wouldnt carry my knapsack to their damn house cause now I know where all my earrings disapperead to over the years LOL But I said it to them and we talked about it and squashed it. Hell but I was worried about them bringing in people that were just coming out of a damn program. i was with them one day and to me he acts weird just saying all types of nonsense and hes older than all of us at 45 years old talking about how he use to steal hell!
Finally I had enough and just told them. I was tired of hearing about their boyfriend all the time.Plus I didn't like him and I don't appreciate you calling at 6am B4 first meeting! I'm just getting ready for work checking email and im starting to not like them anymore cause they start my day off draggy. I don't think im predjudiced about cocaine use or HIV or nothing I just don't want them calling with the same thing all the time. I have to work on this maybe on this point i wasn't friend enough. I could have become a drug addict if i wasnt so damn cheap.Whe i use to smoke weed it would kill me to pay for it. Literally. I really was that damn cheap. Id buy alcohol before weed cause I always figured it would last longer. Oh well. Crack was just to damn expensive. When i saw people stealing I knew that was something I couldnt deal with. I like shoes and tangible things too much.
Gabe said to me I'm just pissed because two friends are no shows at 3 of my parties. 3! Hes right cause I invited them into OUR HOME. Plus I had to buy the food and drinks and all. So yeah plus they should have said they werent going to make it. So yeah, Im pissed.
Thats what friends do. If I find a good place i call and tell them lets go here or there you can bring whoever you want (if there single) So what am I doing wrong? I will call this person tomorrow this is definitely my fault I was being a bigot ( that's my word of the week I finally used it) and was being bigoted in my thinking towards my friend. I'm going to buy a card and apologize because that friend came with me to make Nana's final arrangements. I was wrong and will straighten this out ASAP. I guess i will listen to some of his damn tales cause I am the only one outta that set that didn't get involved in the Crack shit and all that and he hasn't been well lately either. Damn this typing is good for my mind.
What pisses some of them off is I don't share the personal side of my relationships. In my house I talk to my closest about our business I rarely seek advice because I know when I'm wrong and I know when I'm right. Sometimes if im arguing at home i say to myself. Kell is this worth going to bed all uptight? So I usually say " well we all see things different and maybe I just need to see it the way your thinking it. Or well just keep going back and forth. Most arguments stem from boredom anyway around here. I just start shit cause I'm bored so I pick on every little thing which I admit to.
Hmm, even when I was out there dating I never told anyone about sex to me I just am not the sharing kind about some matters. Hell, Ill read a book or something if theirs a problem. But, I grew up with the idea that you don't sit and tell your bedroom business cause your friends will sit there and as soon as they get a chance wanna find out if your lying. So I would always say "ah it aint all that" and change the subject. I get such a kick outta that lol.
im exhausted the commute into the city is becoming a drag.
There is a great DJ named renee who is female. I want to find out where shes working so we can all go hang out at the club. I pray its in the lower east side. I have been playing her music non stop the past 3 nights its sort of a jazzy type of house. I'm not gonna invite anybody imma go with gabe and I'm going to see how they feel when I don't call or pick up my phone. January is coming and im tired of being every damn bodys crying pad. Ill make some new friends lol
I worked on this project at work from 11am till 9 pm. i don't care anymore I think my ADD is kicking in ( if I have ADD?) I feel refreshed. If anyone I knows sneaks and reads this I DON'T CARE!!! ITS HOW I FEEL!
See the houselights start to blink? and the sky is turning pink. Gosh what will the neighbors think cause here it is tomorrow again
I cant believe how fast the weekend went. I just cant believe it. I have been tempted to put a APB out on whoever stole the day!
I had a great weekend full of music, fun
and great company!
I actually liked the people I was with. I didn't know some of them them all that well but, really I liked them.
Don't think this strange. Gabes friends are totally different than mine. Totally, they think of four things (which order? hell if I know) music, sex and food. Oh and XBOX ( did i mention X Box is a tool of the devil?) Just ask Pat Robertson (lol) so im sitting here on the computer while they are piled up in the living room acting ignorant but the crew is nice even the females we hung with were gorgeous Females , that I swear spend 80% of their waking time perfecting their looks. I mean from head to toe. i think its cool a little shallow maybe cause Im just an average loooking person. But,, its cool. I cant hate.
Now, I want to write this down cause I want to see how I feel about it next November.
Sye is from Philadelphia, Hes been here now about ^ months this is the fourth time weve alkl been out together. He use to be a boxer so he claims anyway. Went to prison for beating a guy up in Georgia. gabe says he was sent to state prison in Ga Plausible. He is about 6 ft 1 maybe 6 even. Hes older than than Gabe I think hes like 44 Light skin and has green eyes , skin a little pockety like he had acne as a teen maybe. He is part of some independent music company called lowlife productions here in Brooklyn ( thats a awful name) . They do a lot of hip hop stuff. He gave me a bunch of free Cd's but I don't understand that mess especially when its the Non commercial type. So (to break the ice) I asked him was it possible they might have a little Dinah Washington and he fell out laughing . Looking like what is this kid doing asking for some ol shit like that. I knew that's what he wanted to say LOL Gabe rolled his eyes and even he had to laugh. I just wanted to break the ice its weird when your with your mates friends. I always want them to like me. Don't know why, My own people I might I could care less if they like me or not. But, I try to really be on point with his friends.
My friend Shawn said "fuck that, be yourself. " That's why Shawn he aint got nobody and wont ever have nobody. It doesn't hurt me to be polite and let them have their moment. Without always having to be all up in the set. Let a dude be a dude damn! that's my motto. Also, its just gabe works in clubs and they (the DJ's ) network. If so and so cant do a gig they have this thing where they call each other and put the squeeze on the club owner saying " I can get so and so but hell need 5% off the bar. The club owners pressed go for it and many the day when i wasn't working that network has kept us fed! Also, the sexuality thing in that world is cool. It doesn't really matter whose gay or straight or whatever its all about the music. These people live and breathe music same as a musician almost. Another thing is if theirs no work they look out with off the book jobs etc. They are a family I don't think club goers ever get to see that. Its very hard to make a living being just a DJ unless you get famous or something. I thnk they just have a love for it.
we don't really have mutual friends per se. My friends are basically left overs from elementary school days we've known each other since and people I have met that arent really friends per se but associates. Gabes friends & are all Panama, PR or DJ and even though nana was panama I speak very little spanish and its work when they get into a session and im three sentences behind. So i don't like to stifle them because after every few sentence's its always, papi su comprende es ok?" So they can flow I'm usually busying myself doing other stuff. less its my down on the X Box
We all went to the Club New York and there were three cool females but they were all in their twenties very early twenties so i kinda felt left out but being the voyeur I am im kewl with that. The music was by a Texas DJ named Mr.B it was sort of like a jungle house blended with hip hop and trance. It was OK. I think most of the peoples their are on X because they totally be into their own world. I never tried X before. I'm too scared i will go there and forget how to come back!
I enjoyed myself. Gabes brother who I don't care for too much hes a crackhead spends allllll I mean allll his money on drugs. he doesn't steal tho and makes close to two hundred bucks a day on a slow day. Hes a self employed contractor. But since he spends all his money on drugs hes always broke which leaves feeding him a "family affair" crap! I always wanna feed him a box of laxatives cause hes so full of shit.
gabe doesn't seem to mind their brothers he came to the USA about 9 years ago and I still ask him where is his return ticket. he ignores me. But secretly, we get along its just our way. nana loved him. His nickname is Juice and he got along with my parents better than Gabe. Go figure
Anyway, I drank a great wine last night im swearing off hard liquors my metabolism isn't what it use to be! Plus, i cant wake up and get breakfast made in this house if I don't make breakfast we go hungry unless their is cold cereal and I'm a pancake and egg and may po type person.
I had fun that's my weekend.
Now, to get ready for this week!
I CANT BELIEVE IT IS THAT TIME OF YEAR AGAIN!
This is the time of year that I put the house in order. I have already bought the majority of my gifts and with a nod to the ailing economy I'm not throwing a lot of parties this year. ( cause I cant afford too) I am buying a tree a really great gifts for my two best friends lenny and Patricia. Without them i would not have made it thru this year sane! I swear God has blessed you when you can really call someone a friend and not believe your exaggerating!
However, I refuse to buy liquor for people to drink and act the fool in my house this year. I am throwing one dinner ONE. and fully intend to do it so old fashion in the damn dining room (PEOPLE WONT BE TEMPTED TO LINGER STUCK AT A TABLE. i CAN CLEAR IT AND THEM) . Really, Why have china and all that old folks crap and not use it? I told Gabe as soon as i kick off whoever he decides to get will probably sell my stuff on Craigslist LOL
My birthday party will be held somewhere else so I'm not stuck being part of the clean up committee AND more importantly, I am going to mass this year and since I am a somewhat practicing catholic I'm going to fulfill my obligation to attend confession at least once within the year. Oh and make it to mass at least once. i did attend like a Baptist church twice in the summer. I liked the music!
I never understood confession at all. I prefer to just talk to Jesus myself but as a kid I couldn't resist shocking the heck outta the parish priest. I use to belong to Saint Bridges Parish and we had this young priest named Father Mark who use to shake his boots to see my black behind entering that booth. Id confess masturbation in graphic detail to him ( I was obsessed with masturbation at 12) till finally the poor man ran from the booth and had me in for one on one counseling explaining their was no need to be so graphic LOL. He all but tole me Could report my sins to Jesus my darn self. I still laugh at the memory and a small part of me wishes I knew where they shipped him off to id like to cal him and shock him with this years foolishness lol
Serious Now, Seriously I'm truly thankful for my life and all God has blessed me with. Even though I see blue days I also see alot of sunny days....This is one of them.....A perfect Fall day!
Man, Lord knows it aint easy. Tonight once again we completed a segment of our Podcast "True Urbane Havoc Entertainment Hour" tonights theme was house and I was working with 3 djs and some independent artists here in Brooklyn, NY.
First off, Im NO DJ. My partna is thats his world but I do have a ear. Plus in 2006-2007 I hosted their podcasts which got pretty good reviews and a pretty good fan base.
It was something to do to make our bond tight. I personally listen to old music even as a shorty I was listening to jazz and Gabe is a head. Liking hip hop and House. But somehow we merged and I got introduced to a brother named Muhammad from Baltimore at a talent show. I was just listening and he asked "what do u think" and I just said what I believed and thats how the concept of the podcast was born out of clips from independent artists.
Imagine my surprise when I was watching BCAT and one of the acts I thought would "make it" had made a nice video and were signed artists.
Its not my bag but I love the energy. I bring my dog and tell the brothers their if me and Patrick dont feel like dancin it aint hot LOL thats what tonight is solely based on me and my freakin dancin chihuua.
Its hard fitting into other worlds. I didnt want a "gay" Or "Straight" podcast. I didnt want talk about gay issues or straight issues and I knew it would be harder when certain activists in certin Yahoo groups dogged me for throwing the DJ Parties and not wanting this or that cause it was about music and fun not pick ups.
I got passed all that and hell if im not proud. Im very proud of the tracks here because I was around during the remixes and everything ...I hope everyone who reads this adds it to their IPOD.
I was thinking about this past campaign. Change was the main focus, the driving point of the campaign.
Young kids screamed for change, middle aged people welcomed change, old people somewhat were wary of change.
John Mccain came from a time when people bought 78RPM records, Electricity wasn't a member of every-ones home and race issues were essential a non issue until African Americans garnered the right to vote.
In his days the press adored the republican party glorying in their wealth and labeling them the keepers of "things as they darn well should be"
During the campaign, I remember the first debate you could almost see the sneer and smirks as John McCain used the old tactics to make his points and state his case. However, the aftermath sealed his fate.
The internet, the TV everyone had a poll. No one liked his attitude and the way he presented himself. he came off as condescending, smug and that to me sealed his fate.
There was a time in America where good, God fearing people bought what the politicians said hook line and sinker as long as they said "God Bless America" Obamas former associate sans minister said "God Damn America" as outraged as we all wanted to be we all said that every time we opened a light bill, or we declined credit.
Oh of course no one said it in polite politically correct America but I'm always reminded of the Marie Antoinette MTV movie where the masses go against her. America re enacted that movie per batum. We just haven't lynched Bush yet.
In the past year we have been lied to. The republican party used scare tactics and Osama Bin Laden as the key to the kingdom, this being the White House and when they got in their. They caught and jailed somebody but it damn sure wasn't Obama Bin thats for sure and the war has dragged on and alot of us are at the point now of "what the hell is the war about anyway"
The old ideas stopped working and though its terrific that we have an African American as president elect. His fight wasn't that hard because we Americans especially us younger ones are getting smarter and smarter and not accepting what everyone representing the Red White and Blue has to say.
We are challenging these decisions and become political thinkers in our own right so while were praising Obama who ran a great campaign we better praise ourselves for waking and smelling the damn coffee
I miss writing these thoughts in my notebook.
The thing when your in a relationship especially a long term one its hard to make friends because people have ulterior motives. I'm no prude but I'm just not into all that swapping and stuff doesn't intrest me at all. I think its dangerous I have seen many heterosexual relationships go under behind that BS. The only thing i see much diffrent in Hetro and homo relationships is the genders so if its not good for the goose....Besides Im just shy. I cant imagine telling someone I love them and sleeping with everybody. HMMM People say you have to hold your head but if you indulge in every passing fancy or whim it could open up doors. I tried it once when I was like 19 ( i think it was Paul who I had this huge crush on and my two friends Bootsie and Marcell when i lived in Fla I still get a upset stomich at the thought. Friends just dont need to see everything on each other! LOL and wasn't impressed at all it was just too many body and body parts for me. Does this make me a prude? There was a gay couple we use to play cards with. They both acted like wimps but they were ok and they actually threw it up in the air. hell, even if i was single I would jump over them to get to someone else! Somethings I just cant imagine!
Whoever heard of a gay prude lol that is funny.
Shawn thinks hes going to be a singer and he doesn't sound that good anymore to me. I listen to the one song he made on a cd back in 2005 and its slammin now his voice has a I dunno its aging he got out of school b4 us so hes gotta be almost 40 that should be his prime? Should i tell him this. Think about this this may be important to our friendship. He asked me to play a song on my keyboards I dont want to. Its all a drag to me.
What a day today was. I took the whole day off and rested. Last night Gabe had to close his Fathers bodega down because the electoral celebrations were hot and heavy in Brooklyn. Which was beautiful except the crack heads sneak in and try to steal stuff so that's not so good. Plus I had to get up and drive and pick him up. He didn't want to walk. I was happy to we went and got chicken nuggets the Mickey Ds on Fulton stays open 24 hours if u drive.
Charles finally got his CNA I'm so proud of him whenever we had to go away wed let him stay at our house. Hes from another country and lives with his Mom and I love him like a brother.
We have a neighbor that has all types of company all night and last night they caught someone trying to climb the fire escape to sneak in his house. Hes a single male, probably gay but defiantely a drug addict which is sad. Why are the supposedly mature ( i use that term verrryyyyy loosely still toying with that 80's shit?
I promised Gabe id stop with the notebooks but there is nothing like riding a bus and just writing thoughts as they come. I read a notebook from 6th grade it said
"antoine coleman is my best friend we are in Ms. Petrizellis class together. I don't wanna be mark Hardy's friend anymore he smells like friend chicken.
Imagine! ive been keeping a journal all these years. I wonder am I addicted. Well i got my writing fix i can clock out and work on dinner.... I wonder what ever happen to Antoine anyway? When I go out to Long island I'm going by his mothers house and ask.
When I heard that Barack Obama had won. I'm not a weeper but I wept. I wept for joy that the American people. My People, looked past a mans skin color and voted for what they believed was the best man for the job.
I wept when I thought of my great grand Mother, My Nana, My Mother all the women and men in my family who always believed that one day America would wake up and put their petty thoughts aside. Wise up and they did.
I wept for Dr. martin Luther King that had a dream and I smiled as I said to myself, "Dreams come true"
I smile and I weep and I pray that Obama lives up to his talk and his dreams because this is just the beginning of a long uphill journey and now to my guests.....
I was wondering why I have this lethargic feeling. Since yesterday I have desperately been trying to keep myself busy and tho my mind races with dozens of inane tasks that require my attention I keep ending up on the couch. Head up or face down asleep.
Finally, Gabe said, This will be the first Thanksgiving and Christmas without your Mom and the second without your Dad and my nose began to burn. That funny feeling you get when you either drink a Pepsi too fast or are about to cry.
I thought I could be stronger than this. I thought I could breeze thru everything. I just wanted the grief to be over and here it is hitting me full frontal and making me feel that Im a big baby that cant cope.
I know its a process. Its only been since April 18, 2008 that my Mom left here and I know she wouldnt be here forever. I know Im blessed with a great life partner and a pet and some friends who i actually care about.
But, theres this little hole in my heart that wants my Mommy. I dont like the grief process its a cagy thing. It attacks and then makes you believe your getting on and then these holidays come and it hits you. You remember the joy of the big dinners and the music and the laughter and all the sharing and you realize its gone but I know I need to build new memories with Gabe and I want to but I cant.
Instead im sitting in front of my computer like a 12 year old my nose is running and I want to cry but know that I shouldnt that really its going to pass.
Maybe years later I will read this and remember how I felt. How I coped..
Gabe told me that maybe we should go to Atlanta or maybe Fla for the holidays just get out the house. But, We have so many plans the expense would set us behind by almost a year plus, I just dont care for either place. Id as soon cope under my own roof.
Thats what I will do. Im going to go online get the recipes for some things and clean the house. Take the next 3 days off and pull the house together get the cards done and take Gabes dad to his Dialysis I love his father almost like my own. But not the same. His father is like a curiousity. Much diffrent than my Dad. But just as strong.
Ill be OK. This moment has passes
|
i mailed this to two of my close friends that are kinda single (for an amazingly long time) One is a gay guy who is like 40 and swears if he isnt in a relationship hell go straight ( he says that every number) the female she will probbly join a church and start praying for the lord to send her the right mate (lol)
a great article tho
THE ROCK
THE DOER
THE THRILL CHASER
THE SWEETHEART
Reprinted with permission of Hearst Communications, Inc.
Unbelievable the shit that AOL pulled with their journals I had years worth of personal journals that dated back to 2006 on their and I wanted to put it here but when i began pulling it and reading it some of the stuff was intensely personal as it really was a private blog plus i wasnt up for all that cut and paste BS. I had two multiply pages and two AIM pages. I do alot of personal blogging cuz I use to write in a Black and white marble composition book since about 12 and i have so many of those damn things in 2005 i decided to modernize.
I hope multiply doesn't go but i put all my good stuff pics and family things on Blogger cause I doubt Google will be going thru the finical meltdown AOL or rather Time Warner ( the parent company) is dealing with. I'm not even wanting to use their Email anymore.
Yahoo at least says BETA so why people cop attitudes about a test/pilot program is ludicrous. But I like Yahoo (unfortunately) its the people their that are lazy. They never blog. I love em tho.
Hope to meet at least 16 good people here thats my limit cause I like to read stuff when I actually log on.
I'm actually back to using the desktop in the house. I enjoyed my last visit so much with people posting videos that I couldn't see cuz I was using a MDA or sometimes a Sidekick that I called Verizon and had the broadband put back on in the house
A bold move poor Gabe thought I had caught dementia abut he said its good to see you doing something for you for a change. I have Gabe and a 12 year old relative I'm raising so my life is busy, busy busy.....
Unbelievable the shit that AOL pulled with their journals I had years worth of personal journals that dated back to 2006 on their and I wanted to put it here but when i began pulling it and reading it some of the stuff was intensly personal as it really was a private blog plus i wasnt up for all that cut and paste BS. I had two multiply pages and two AIM pages. I do alot of personal blogging cuz I use to write in a Black and white marble composition book since about 12 and i have so many of those damn things in 2005 i decided to modernize.
I hope multiply doesnt go but i put all my good stuff pics and family things on Blogger cause I doubt Google will be going thru the finalical meltdown AOL or rather Time Warner ( the parent company) is dealing with. Im not even wanting to use their Emal anymore.
Yahoo at least says BETA so why people cop attitudes about a test/pilot program is ludicrous. But I like Yahoo (unfortunately) its the people their that are lazy. They never blog. I love em tho.
Hope to meet at least 16 good people here thats my limit cause I like to read stuff when I actually log on.
Im actually back to using the desktop in the house. I enjoyed my last visit so much with people posting videos that I couldnt see cuz I was using a MDA or sometimes a Sidekick that I called Verizon and had the broadband put back on in the house
A bold move poor Gabe thought I had caught dementia abut he said its good to see youo doing something for you for a change. I have Gabe and a 12 year old relative im raising so my life is busy, busy busy.....
Have you ever thought you were having a inteligent conversation. One that you would walk away with a gem or too to help your life long journey a better way?
Yet you get caught up in a ridculous chit chat about nothing? Why are our friends like that? Its as if we dont pick our friends just right.
they say friends are a reflection of us. THAT IS SCARY!!!! WHEN I LOOK AT MY REAL FRIENDS IM PERPLEXED AND I HAVE TO DO A INNER SEARCH TO SEE WHAT SCREWED UP PART OF ME COMPLIMENTS MY FRIENDS. tHE ONES THAT ARE ARGUMENTITIVE, DRAMA RIDDEN, FOOLISH. THE ONE WITH THE YEA LONG LIST OF ADDICTIONS LIKE SEX, DRUGS, ALCOHOL.
HAVE MERCY ISNT THIS SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT???
Here you go......
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries
are getting dead?
Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there
is not enough money?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars,
but check when you say the paint is wet?
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when a revolve
r is thrown at him?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
If people evolved from apes,why are there still apes?
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are
always white?
Is there ever a day that mattresses
are not on sale?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that
something new to eat will have materialized?
Why do people keep running ove r a string a dozen times with their
vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it
down to give the vacuum one more chance?
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
How do those dead bu gs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling
off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer
when we complained about the heat?
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
And my FAVORITE......
The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons are
suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best
friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.
~~~Now send this on to your friends and make them smile too!~~~
*Sent from a Sidekick Slide*
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